


What doesn't kill you...

by QueenofSchmoop



Series: How Scott and Ezra fell in love [1]
Category: Higher Ground
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Camping, Cuddling, Cutting (reference to past cutting), Dry Humping, F/M, First Time, Gay Male Character, Homophobic Language, Infidelity, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Drug Use, Past Sexual Abuse, References to Kim Possible, Schmoop, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, spoilers for all episodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 07:01:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16132076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofSchmoop/pseuds/QueenofSchmoop
Summary: Ezra reveals a secret to Scott. That revelation, and Scott's reaction, rock everyone's world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have chosen to mark this "creator chooses not to warn", because I honestly don't know whether to warn for Underage (the guys are in their late teens so is it?) and whether to warn for rape/non-con because of Scott and Elaine. Please read the tags carefully before jumping into the story, everyone! I've tried to warn as best I can but if I need to change or add any tags, let me know.

Scott was sitting at a table in the courtyard working on his English essay when Ezra came running up to him and threw himself down.

“Scott! You gotta help me, man!”

“Go away, Ezra,” Scott said without even looking up. 

“I’m begging you!”

Finally Scott asked, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s Daisy.”

“She finally made her play for you, huh?” He grinned. “Go for it, big man.”

“That’s just it! I can’t!”

“What? What do you mean, you can’t?”

“I mean--” Ezra looked around, “look, you have to promise not to tell anyone, all right?”

“Whatever.”

“No, promise me!”

“Okay, jeez! I promise.”

“Not even Shelby?”

“Not even Shelby.” He held his hand up like he was swearing on a Bible. “Now what is it?”

“I’ve never done anything with a girl before,” Ezra mumbled. 

“Really? Not anything?”

“Nothing.”

Scott closed his book. “You’ve never even kissed a girl before?”

“No. Not really.”

“What’s ‘not really’ mean?” He was curious. 

“I mean, I haven’t kissed a girl since 6th grade and Sarah Hawkinson was dared to kiss me by some local boys. That’s it.”

“Wow.” Scott looked stunned. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just tell me what to do!” 

“Just kiss her. You know, you put your mouth on hers in a kissing motion. You’ve seen TV and movies. You should know how it works.”

“Yeah I know, but what if she wants, you know,” he looked around furtively, “more.”

“Then do more.”

“But I just told you--”

“Trust me. Every guy knows how to do more,” he patted Ezra’s shoulder. “It’ll happen.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. Just calm down and take your time. Respect her limits.”

“Respect her limits,” Ezra repeated. “Got it. Anything else I should know?”

“Yeah,” Scott said, picking up his books and getting up. “Don’t let her drink your blood.” He walked away, smiling. 

Ezra called after him. “Very funny!”

That night, after supper, Scott watched Ezra and Daisy walk away and settle in front of the fire. He was so lost in watching them that he didn’t notice Shelby until she took his hand. “Hey. You look lost in thought.”

He turned to her. “Yeah. Just thinking about something.”

“Oh yeah? Deep thoughts?”

“Sort of.” He was about to tell her but something stopped him. Maybe because he would have to explain about Ezra. But mostly because he didn’t want to admit to her that he felt jealous. Ezra hadn’t had those first times taken from him like he had. He looked down at their locked hands and worked his fingers free. “I’ll see you later.” 

He knew he’d hurt her as he walked away but he couldn’t stay there right now. Instead he headed back to their cabin. Luckily, no one else was there. He lay on the bed, thinking, or rather trying not to think, for a while. Slowly the rest of the guys came back in. Ezra was one of the last. He had a dazed look on his face. Scott avoided looking at him. 

The next day Ezra and Daisy were practically attached at the hip whenever there wasn’t a grown up around. Scott began to get sick of it and tried to avoid them but it was tough. At supper, at the Cliffhangers table, he finally had enough. “You guys mind?” he directed at them. “Some of us are trying to eat here.”

“What’s your problem?” Daisy asked. 

“Just don’t need to see your touchy feely crap while I’m trying to eat,” he said and started to get up. 

“Maybe if you got some of your own--” she started to say. 

Scott turned and kicked his chair over, leaning across the table. “Shut. Up.” He told her in a harsh tone. 

“Scott,” Shelby said urgently and yanked him back. Sophie was coming into the room. 

“What’s going on?” She demanded to know. 

“Nothing. I tipped my chair over.”

She surveyed everyone and then looked at Scott. “We don’t tolerate violence here, Scott. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” He shook off Shelby and walked away. 

Sophie waited a moment and then turned around, walking away to go find Peter. 

“What the hell was that?” Auggie asked as Shelby righted Scott’s chair. 

They all shrugged. 

Scott kept away from most of the rest of the kids for the day. That night he was already in bed by the time the other guys came in. After lights out, Ezra crept out of bed and went over. 

“Scott.”

“Go away.”

“Meet me outside in 10 minutes. Down by the docks.”

“No. Go away.”

Pure silence then Ezra crept closer. “I know what happened to you.” Scott’s eyes opened and pierced the other boy’s. “Please, just come meet me. 10 minutes.” Without waiting, he scooted away. 

Twenty minutes went by and Scott got out of bed, and snuck out of the cabin. He went down by the docks and saw Ezra waiting. “You’ve got two minutes. So talk.”

“I’m a smart guy. I see things. I finally put two and two together with you. It wasn’t that hard. You’ve obviously had sex before. You have issues with women. You don’t like it when people talk about your body. And when your Dad and step mom came up you ran away.”

“One minute left.”

“She did something to you, didn’t she?”

Scott turned his face away. 

“Shelby knows. I know you told her. She acts differently around you. And when I came to you for advice that dredged all that up, didn’t it?”

“30 seconds left, Ezra, then I’m going back to bed.”

“I kissed Daisy. All it did was confirm me something I was pretty sure of before. I like her a lot. But I don’t really want to have sex with her.”

“Ten seconds.”

“I’m gay, Scott. And like half the girls here at camp, I have a crush on you.”

Scott, who had been turning away, prepared to say ’time’s up’, stopped. “What?” He turned back around. “That’s not funny, man.”

“It’s not a joke. Why do you think I never did anything with girls? Why do you think I chased so hard after Shelby when she was chasing so hard after you?” Ezra had been sitting on one of the posts. Now he got up. “I never told anyone, except one time a therapist of mine.” He began to tell Scott about his adoption, his parents, and that whole life. How he’d turned to drugs, something he knew Scott could relate to, and how he’d tried to kill himself. 

“I knew if I told them I was gay too they’d flip out. Trying to outdo each other with being ‘understanding’, or trying to fix me.”

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“At first I thought my crush on you was hero worship. You’re the golden boy, the perfect guy next door. The all-American football player, liked by everyone. Then I figured I liked you because of the drug angle.”

Scott snorted. 

“But once I came to realize what you’d gone through, I realized that I liked you because you’re like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He turned and raised his fists. Ezra didn’t flinch. 

“Broken. Just like me. Looking for love in the wrong places. Just like me. Afraid to admit who you are. Just like me.”

“I’m not gay.”

“No? I heard you thought Peter thought you were when you showed up. Then there was the way you reacted when you and Auggie had to be paired up for the eggs.”

Scott’s jaw worked but he said nothing. 

“Face it, you’ve thought about being with guys. Cause they’re safer. You could hurt them if they hurt you. And they wouldn’t remind you of your stepmother.”

Scott exploded into action, grabbing Ezra by the neck and shoulder, pushing him to the ground against the dock planks. “Shut your mouth. You don’t know anything.”

“I know that you just had a helluva reaction for a ‘straight’ guy. And look how you’ve managed to position us.” He gestured at Scott on top of him. “It’s all right. I’m not pushing and I don’t expect anything from you. I just wanted you to know.”

“Yeah, well, now I know. Know not to get naked in the showers with you anymore.”

Ezra laughed. “Probably a good idea. Though I like to think I wouldn’t jump you in such a public place. Not into exhibitionism.”

Scott just shook his head. “You’re really something. I could have beat the crap out of you for this.”

“You could have. But you didn’t.” He paused. “I can’t help but notice you still haven’t gotten off me yet.”

Scott looked down then jerked away as if burned. He scrambled up and then held out a hand to Ezra. “You got balls, I’ll give you that.”

“Thanks.”

“I won’t tell anyone else about this.”

“Go ahead. Maybe it’s time I came out,” he joked. “Besides, I already told Daisy.”

“You did? When?”

“Last night.”

“How’d she take it?”

“She’s cool. I think she wants to take me shopping now.”

Scott let out a laugh. He hesitated, then clapped his shoulder. “We better get back before they miss us.”

“Yeah.” They started back up and right before they reached the cabin, Ezra yanked on Scott’s sleeve. “Hey Scott?”

“What?”

“Thanks for being so cool about this.”

Rolling his eyes, he said, “flattery will not get you into my pants, man.” Smiling, they went inside. 

Scott didn’t say anything but Daisy did and Ezra became the talk of the campus. Strangely no one made jokes, least of all Scott. Shelby shot a few looks Ezra’s way but he shrugged them off. He had extra sessions with Peter the first few days but they didn’t really talk much. Ezra said nothing about Scott. 

They were sitting at their table eating breakfast one morning when things happened. Auggie had just sat down next to Jules and was complaining about the food. 

“We all eat and then we all die. Such is the way of life,” Daisy said. 

“Happy thought there, Daze,” Ezra said. 

“Don’t you mean ’gay’ thought?” Juliette asked. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Scott said, looking her way. 

“Just, doesn’t ’gay’ also mean happy?” She sounded genuinely confused. 

“What’s your problem anyway? Aren’t you the one who uses ’homo’?” Auggie asked. 

“Not anymore. I wouldn’t about Ezra anyway.” 

Ezra looked at him and smiled shyly. “Thanks.”

“Awww, someone’s got a crush!” Shelby sing-songed and Ezra dropped his glass of juice. “Shit, E.Z., nice going!”

“Sorry.” He began trying to clean it up but they had to get some help. 

Later, after the whole mess was taken care of, the group walked to class. “You know, maybe Ezra does have a crush on you,” Shelby told Scott. “If I were a gay guy I would.”

“Maybe he does. No big.”

“Wow. You’ve come a long way from the freak out about being paired with Auggie.”

“That was Auggie. This is Ezra.” He walked away from her. 

The next day they were all sent on a hike. The Cliffhangers spread out on a straggling line, while following after Peter. Scott hung back until he was by Ezra. “How are you doing?”

“Good. Daisy’s been a really good friend.”

“Just a friend?”

“Um, yeah. There’s that whole part of ‘gay’ where you don’t want to have sex with people of the opposite gender.”

Scott chuckled. “Yeah. Otherwise, how’s it going?”

“OK. Some kids razzed me but I’ve had worse.”

A long pause as they went past a stump of a tree. “And…what about me?”

“What about you, Scott?”

“Do you still…like me?”

Ezra smiled. “Yeah. Crushes don’t just fade in a few days. Sorry.”

“No, it’s cool. I was just curious.” He looked ahead. “We should catch up.” They sped up a little to catch up to the group. 

This was an overnight in the woods so they eventually made camp and everyone was assigned chores. Kat and Juliette were sent to get firewood. Shelby and Auggie were in charge of food. Daisy and Scott were assigned cleanup. 

“What about me, boss?” Ezra asked. 

“You’re in charge of getting everyone up tomorrow morning. Bright and early,” Peter said in chipper tone. Everyone groaned. 

The night passed in conversation and fits of silence. Eventually everyone sacked out around the fire in their sleeping bags. Peter told Ezra when he wanted them all up and went to bed himself. Ezra stayed up and watched the fire then finally fell asleep. The beeping of his watch woke him five minutes before he had to get everyone up. 

He crawled over to Scott, figuring if he could wake him first, maybe he get his help. “Scott. Scott.” He shook his arm. 

Scott bolted upright and grabbed Ezra, clamping hard. He immediately let go as he realized who it was. “Ezra. Sorry.”

“No, I shouldn’t have touched you like that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Time to get up?”

“Yeah. I was wondering if you’d help me?”

“Yeah sure.” He started to move then saw that he’d left finger marks on Ezra’s arm. He reached out, touched it tenderly, and watched the other boy shiver. 

Ezra breathed heavily. He swallowed hard. 

“Ezra.” The tone in Scott’s voice made the boy turn. Fingers glided up an arm, hand over shoulder and further up, cupping around that neck. Scott saw Ezra’s eyes on his mouth and licked his lips, watching the change in his eyes. Their heads moved closer until their lips were almost touching, breath mingling. 

A groan came from the next sleeping bag and they jumped apart. They looked and Scott rolled his eyes. “Morning, muchacho,” he greeted Auggie. 

“Ugh, I hate sleeping outdoors.”

Ezra moved on. Soon they were all awake and going about their chores. After eating breakfast they were told to hike it back to camp. Peter led the way; Scott and Ezra didn’t have a chance to talk. Shelby clung to Scott like glue. It went that way all day. Ezra and Scott kept exchanging looks when they were around each other but that was all. 

That night at supper, Scott picked at his food. Ezra ate at a separate table with Daisy, Juliette, and Auggie. 

“So you wanna sneak down to the docks tonight?” Shelby asked him. 

“What? Um, no, you know I’m kinda tired. Maybe another night?”

She looked at him. “Oh. Fine. No problem.” She suddenly got up. 

“Where you going?”

“Looks like nowhere.”

He shook his head. After taking his plate to clean up, he wandered out. There were no activities scheduled right now. He was walking when he heard his name called. He turned and saw Daisy coming up. 

“Scott.”

“Daisy.”

“I just want to tell you, if you hurt him I will _hurt you_. That’s a promise.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You do. You’re playing a game and I don’t like it. Trying to have your cake and eat it too. You love his adoration. Makes you feel good. It makes you feel safe. But you also want Shelby. Well, you can’t have both. So pick one and let the other go. I don’t care which but don’t play them both.”

Scott watched her walk away and shook his head. He walked on and found himself heading for the cliffs. He stopped there and looked out. He didn’t know how long he’d been standing there when he felt a presence behind him. Without turning he asked, “been there long?”

“No,” Ezra said. 

Turning, Scott asked, “enjoying the view?”

“Yeah. And the mountain’s not bad either.” He watched Scott flush. “Sorry, I know you don’t like that sort of thing.”

“It’s fine,” he waved it off. “What’s up?”

“Didn’t have any plans. Thought you might want to hang out?” He stepped closer to Scott. 

Who moved forward as well, feeling like he was in a dance. “Hanging out could be fun.”

“Scott,” he licked his lips, “I’ve always been honest with you.”

“Yeah.”

“So I’m going to tell you. That I want us to be friends. Either way this comes out. But if we go somewhere right now, I’m going to kiss you. Unless you stop me.”

“Know your limits.” 

“And respect them.”

“I’m with Shelby,” Scott blurted out. 

“I know. I’m okay with sharing you.”

“Daisy didn’t think so.”

Ezra smiled. They were now standing in front of each other. “Daisy is over-protective. But I’d rather have some of you than none of you at all.”

“I don’t think Shelby would feel that way.”

“You could reassure her that at least you’re not cheating on her with another girl?” He smiled. 

Scott laughed. “That is true.” The laughter subsided. “It’s not fair to you, man.”

“Maybe I don’t care about fair.” A look came into Ezra’s eyes. “Maybe I just want someone to touch me with tenderness. Maybe I just want to do that back.” Snapping out of it, putting on his goofball face, he added, “and you’re hotter than hell, man. What kind of idiot would I be to resist?”

“Don’t. Don’t put yourself down like that.”

“I wasn’t. I was compli--”

“Yes, you were. I don’t like it. Whether we hook up or not, Ezra, you’re a good person. An amazing, funny, warm, wonderful guy.” He watched the other boy blush and look away. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

“What do you know about me? Until a few days ago you barely even knew my name.”

Scott caught his chin and dragged his face back around. “I always knew you. You were the one in our group I respected the most.” Ezra tried to cut his eyes away again but Scott wouldn’t let him. “I’m going to kiss you now unless you stop me,” he parroted back at him. Then he leaned in slowly. 

Ezra didn’t move, didn’t even seem to be breathing. Scott got closer and closer and then, their lips touched. Ezra made a startled noise, his lips parting. Scott took the opportunity and dove deep, claiming with a passion. Ezra tasted different, felt different, than the girls he had kissed. He was lost in the sensations. When they both finally pulled back, Ezra kept his eyes closed. 

“Ez?”

“I’m afraid to open my eyes. To find you’re not really here and I’m hallucinating this. If I am this is the best trip ever.”

Hands came up, fingers touched his face. “Open your eyes, Ezra,” he said kindly. When he did, Scott bent his head and kissed the corner of his eyes. “I’m really here.”

Ezra reached up a hesitant hand and touched his face, then sent his hand further up. When it slid into Scott’s hair, he quietly laughed. 

“What?”

“I’ve always wanted to touch these golden locks. Now I can.”

Feeling shy, Scott shuffled his feet. “Nothing special.”

Ezra shook his head. “You’re wrong.” He pulled back slightly. “But we’ve been on display long enough, don’t you think?”

Startled into looking around, Scott nodded. “We’re lucky we weren’t spotted.”

“We might have been. Just too busy to notice.” Ezra winked and Scott laughed. 

They started to walk away, shoulders brushing. After a bit Scott asked, “where are we going?”

“I have no idea. I thought you were leading.”

They both burst out laughing. That was when Peter came around the corner. “Guys,” he greeted them. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Peter,” they said together and broke up again. 

He shot them a look. “Why don’t you go inside by the fire? Maybe get a jump start on your assignments for tomorrow?”

They nodded and headed in, but went past the group in the common room. “I’ve got an idea,” Ezra whispered and led the other boy through the building. 

“Where we going?”

“The laundry room. No one will be there this time of night.”

Scott shook his head in amazement. “You’re brilliant.”

“And witty too,” he quipped as he led the way. 

They reached the building and snuck inside. Scott started to turn on the light. Ezra put out his hand to stop him. “No. No lights or they’ll come investigate.” They withdrew deeper into the room.

“Ouch! I think I just ran into one of the machines.”

“Poor baby,” Ezra cooed. “Want me to kiss it better?”

Scott took him in his arms. “Yes please.”

“You have to show me where it hurts then.” Scott pointed to his knee. “Yeah, don’t think so. How about this instead?” He lifted his face and pressed a soft kiss to Scott’s lips. Pulling back he asked, “how was that?”

“Not long enough.” Swooping back in, he laid one on him. When they broke apart he realized that Ezra’s hands had crept back up into his hair. “You have a thing for my hair.”

“I do,” Ezra concurred. They went back to kissing. After several minutes of that he asked, “can we sit down? I think you’re actually making my knees weak.”

Laughing, Scott moved them over by a dryer and then went down to the ground. They kissed some more then Ezra put his hand over Scott’s heart. “Will you get mad if I tell you I’m not ready for more?”

“No,” came the instant reply. Voice full of affection, he said, “of course not. I told you, respect the limits.”

“And, um, this is going to sound really girly but--” he broke off and bit his lip. 

“Tell me.”

“Do you,” he mumbled the rest down his shirt. 

“Yeah, you’ll have to speak up if you want an answer.”

“Do you think we could just hold each other for a while?”

Touched and--he admitted deep inside, a little relieved--Scott nodded. He went to wrap his arms around Ezra but found him rearranging them so they were holding each other. “You need this too,” Ezra said, leaning in and putting his head down. 

Tears threatened but he choked them back and squeezed his arms a little tighter. They stayed like that, in their little corner, wrapped in a cocoon of warmth and tenderness, for some time. Finally Ezra stirred. “Almost fell asleep,” he said, rubbing his eyes. 

Scott reluctantly broke free. “Yeah.” His voice was hoarse so he had to clear his throat. 

They both got up and headed for the door, Ezra stopping him there. He cupped Scott’s face in both of his hands and spoke. “No matter what happens after this, no matter how this plays out, thank you for the best night of my life.”

Embarrassed, Scott squirmed but was secretly pleased. He leaned in and kissed Ezra, saying “you’re welcome,” against his mouth. They snuck out and back to the cabin. Scott stayed awake for hours, just thinking. Finally, he dropped off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The next week played out fairly normally. He spent time with Shelby, snuck around with Ezra--who he would kiss and then cuddle with, usually in the laundry room--did his activities and his homework. He couldn’t bring himself to choose either of them and wondered if he couldn’t have both. Then Daisy would give him a black look and he would flush all over. 

Ezra never pressured him, though, never said anything when he was with Shelby. Somehow that made him feel worse. 

They were all hanging around in the common room when Peter came in. “Cliffhangers, listen up! Tomorrow you will be going out on a special Quest.”

Everyone groaned. 

“Yes, I know you’re so happy about this. Sophie’s going to take you up to the Lake and you will camp there for two days. You will all be assigned duties and you will all be given points for those duties. But,” he held up his finger, “this is a teamwork assignment. Your goal is work _as a team_ ,” he emphasized, “not to score individual points. Your collective points will be totaled at the end and depending on how you do, we’ll see what you get.”

“Get?” Shelby asked. 

“Like a reward,” Peter enticed. “A night in town, perhaps, or something. We’ll see,” he called over the sudden clapping and hooting. “You leave at first light tomorrow!” 

They all chattered excitedly, talking about what they would do if they won the passes to town. Shelby sidled over to Scott. “If we won, we could go to town and get a motel room. Finally have some fun without Big Brother watching,” she cooed in his ear. 

He flicked her away. “We’ll see. Gotta do it first.”

She sighed. “What’s your deal?”

“Nothin’.” He got up and headed over to Ezra and Daisy. “Hey.”

Daisy raised an eyebrow. “Would you like me to leave?”

“If I said yes, would you?”

“No.”

“Then what’s the point?” That made Ezra laugh. They all three talked for a bit then had to head off to do chores. 

The next morning--bright and early as promised--Sophie gathered them all together and lead them off. Shelby kept shooting looks at Scott, who walked by himself. As usual Ezra and Daisy were joined at the hip, along with Jules and Auggie. So she found herself by Kat. They didn’t talk much. 

It took them most of the day to get to the lake. Sophie assigned chores again and kept track of points. This time they had brought tents. Auggie, Scott and Ezra were all in one tent together. Kat, Shelby and Daisy were in one as a group and Jules and Sophie were going to be sharing a tent as well. Scott and Ezra exchanged glances as they set up their tent. 

Night fell and the fire blazed. 

“Tomorrow I want a group to head up to the Lake and catch some fish. Who wants to go?”

“Not me!” Jules exclaimed. “I don’t mind catching them but then you have to clean them. Ick!”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want your hands to get dirty, Princess,” Shelby said sarcastically from Scott’s side. 

“I’ll go,” Auggie said and got a blinding smile of thanks in return. 

“I’m not about to gut a fish,” Daisy said.

“Yeah me neither,” echoed Ezra. 

“Leaves you and Scott, Shelby,” Sophie said, a bit unnecessarily. 

“Great. Can’t wait.” Rolling her eyes she looked at Scott but his attention was on Ezra. “Hey,” she bumped into him, “keep staring at him like that and he’s gonna think you like him.”

“What?” His head came up, startled. 

“Nothing. Just a joke.” They were interrupted by Sophie calling for everyone to speak about what they hoped to accomplish on this trip. 

“I hope to get through it without having to do something icky,” Jules said, to much laughter. 

“I hope to get through it without having to watch Jules do something icky,” Ezra quipped and got even more laughter. Then, at Sophie’s look, he turned serious. “I guess I just hope to get through this without anyone getting hurt.” He was studiously not looking at anyone. 

Scott understood that he wasn’t talking about physical pain. He wanted to say something but didn’t dare. 

“I hope that by the end of the trip I’ll have found something to eat besides fish and berries,” Daisy immediately added and Scott nodded at her gratefully. 

Auggie said he wanted to learn a new skill, Kat said she wanted to become more confident, and then it was Scott and Shelby’s turn. “What about you two?”

“Ah, we all know what they want,” Auggie shrugged. 

Shelby shot him a look. “What I hope to accomplish this trip?” she asked. “To reconnect.” 

“Scott?” Sophie prompted. “What do you hope to accomplish on this trip?”

He didn’t say anything for a long time. When he looked up, he said only one word. “Clarity.” 

Looking back down he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Ezra and Daisy both smile. Shelby was frowning. 

“Good answer,” the counselor said. “All right, we’ll all need to be up bright and early so let’s hit the sack.” She got up and left them to their chores and headed for her tent. Everyone did their routines and then the boys all went to their tent. Auggie looked over at them both and said, “if either of you starts snoring I will kick you in the face.”

“You’ve been in a cabin with both of us, Augusto, you know we don’t snore. So save the comments,” Ezra said as he got into his sleeping bag. 

Scott was in the middle of the two boys and wriggled into his bag as well. Silence fell over the tent and then the camp. He couldn’t sleep. He thought about turning over and seeing if Ez was awake but he could tell from the way he was breathing that he was out. He was still lying there, thinking, when there was a scratching sound on the tent flap. Carefully, he lifted it. 

“Wanna go for a romantic walk in the moonlight?” Shelby asked. 

“No. Go to sleep, Shelby.”

“What? I thought we could…you know,” she smiled seductively. 

“Sophie would catch us. Go to bed.”

“Alone?” She pouted. 

He sighed. “Yes. I’ll talk to you tomorrow all right?”

From the depths of the tent came Auggie’s voice. “Yeah, talk tomorrow. Tonight, some of us want to get some sleep!”

Shelby leaned in, kissed him, and then headed off. As he climbed back into his sleeping bag, Auggie muttered, “always the constant drama, Meat.”

He wasn’t paying attention though. He saw that Ezra was awake and looking at him but he couldn’t decipher the look in the other boy’s eyes. He reached across with his hand and Ezra immediately echoed the movement so their fingers clasped. They let go after a few moments and finally got some sleep. 

The next morning, Auggie, Scott and Shelby headed down to the Lake to try to catch fish. The first hour no one caught anything, then Shelby began to have a streak of luck. The boys trooped back after her around lunchtime, downcast. Her bucket was full of fish. 

“I guess it’s true. You want the job done right, send a woman to do it.”

Daisy, Jules and Kat all clapped. “Good job, hunters,” Daisy wisecracked. 

They ate fish for lunch then Sophie sent them all out to find certain things and accomplish certain tasks. They went alone but had to stay within shouting distance of each other. Scott was looking around when Shelby came out of the trees by his side. 

“Hey.”

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you. We never got our romantic walk.”

“It’s daylight now,” he pointed out. 

“So? Daylight can be romantic.” She came over to him and kissed him but he pulled away. “What’s the problem?”

“Just don’t want to get caught, that’s all. I thought you wanted to win this thing?”

“I do but we can still have some fun.”

“I’d rather concentrate on winning.” He saw her lips thin and put his arms around her. “That way maybe we can have that time in town together.” He kissed her face. 

“Hmmm. All right. I’ll be good.” She ran her hand down his chest. “For a while.” She pulled back and walked away, shooting a look back over her shoulder as she did so. It wasn’t until he was sure that she was gone that he sighed and let himself sag in relief. 

The rest of the day and night passed quickly. Shelby stopped trying to get with him and they focused on their tasks. The next day they went back down to fish again and this time everyone caught some. After lunch they had a group circle and talked about things, though Scott and Ezra both didn’t speak much. 

“All right, supper then one more night around the campfire. Tomorrow morning we head back and check your points.”

“Can you tell us how we’re doing?” Jules asked. “I’d really like to know.”

“Sorry, Juliette, no can do. Just have to hope for the best.”

No one came to Scott that night in the tent, which was a great relief to him. He spent most of the night awake and thinking. The next morning they went back down the mountain, meeting Peter at Horizon’s entrance. They were told to go unpack and get cleaned up and meet in the common room in an hour. 

An hour later, scrubbed and clean they all gathered. 

“Well, Sophie has given me her report and I am pleased to hear that you all did very well. The leader in points for this trip was Auggie,” who held up his hands, clasped in victory, “but since this was a team exercise,” Peter went on, “that’s not what really matters, is it?”

“Did we do it?” Jules burst out.

Peter pursed his lips. “I’m sorry but…you did!” He laughed at their expressions. “Faked you out.”

The group exploded. “We did it!” There was hugging and clapping and whooping. 

“So what do we get? An overnight in town?” Shelby asked anxiously. 

“I never said anything about an overnight.”

“Yeah you said--”

“I said ‘a night in town’, not an ‘overnight’.” He looked around. “You have your choice of three things--you can go into town for a night but you’ll have to be back by midnight. You can choose to be excused from your duties for the next week, that includes all chores. Or you can eat and drink what you want this week. Within limits, of course. But you must choose _as a team_. I’ll give you 20 minutes to decide. When I come back, if you haven’t chosen something together then I’ll pick for you.”

He went out. 

“I vote for the night in town,” Shelby said immediately. “To be able to get away from this place and have some fun? I’m all for that. Even if it isn’t an overnight,” she shot a look at Scott. 

“Figures,” Jules said. “I’d rather have the week off from chores. Not having to scrub pots and pans. Give me that!”

“Sounds good to me too,” Auggie said.

“Oooo big surprise that you side with Princess,” Shelby said scornfully. “OK, that’s three. What about the rest?”

Kat looked thoughtful. “I think I’d like to be let out of chores too. Would be nice. What could we do in town that’s so exciting?”

“That’s three for chores and only one for town,” Juliette crowed. 

“We’re not done yet.” She pointed at Daisy. “What’s your vote?”

“Town. I don’t like chores but maybe we could hit a few stores.”

“That’s 3 to 2, then. Scott will want to go into town--”

“Let him say for himself,” Jules interrupted. 

“Fine. Scott, what’s your vote?”

Feeling trapped, pressured, he said, “I don’t care.”

“C’mon, you’ve got to vote.” She looked at him. 

“I guess…town?”

“Now it’s even. Up to you Ezra.”

“I vote for getting to eat what we want.”

They all groaned. “Oh come on. You’ve got to break the lock. Either vote chores or town. No cop outs.”

“Yeah, man,” Auggie agreed. 

Ezra looked around and his gaze lingered briefly on Scott. “I guess I pick town then.”

“Yes!” Shelby pumped her fist. “Town it is!”

“Wait, it’s not unanimous,” Jules cried. 

“Sorry, Princess, this is a democracy. You’ve been outvoted.”

“But I don’t want to go to stupid town!” Auggie came over and put his hand on her shoulder. 

“You’ll find something to do,” he assured her. 

When Peter came back they told him what they had chosen. Jules started to say something but Shelby shot her a look and she subsided. “All right, trip into town it is. Do you guys want to wait till tomorrow night or--?”

“Tonight,” came the group shout. 

“OK, OK,” he held his hands up in the air in mock surrender. “Everyone meet at the driveway at 5PM.”

They all left, chattering excitedly. Scott was the only one who didn’t seem psyched. Even Jules had cheered up when Daisy had mentioned that maybe she could try out some makeup. 

At 5:00 they met and took two minivans down into town. When they pulled up they all piled out. “All right,” Peter clapped his hands. “There are rules. You can go anywhere and do anything here in town except: go to a bar, got to a motel, or try to run away.” Everyone noticed that Peter shot a quick look at Scott there. “I’ll be remaining in town with Sophie. We’re going to have dinner at Rusty’s then we’ll be around. This town isn’t that big. If you need us, come find us.”

There were nods all around. 

“Try to stay out of trouble and yes, enjoy yourselves, but remember the rules. If anyone is caught breaking any of those rules--”

“If we find you at a bar or you come back smelling of alcohol,” Sophie interjected.

“Then you are in big trouble,” Peter finished. “I presume most of you brought money?” There were nods. “I’m not going to tell you how to spend it but remember things will be confiscated back at Horizon. All right. We will meet at Rusty’s at midnight. If you are not there, we will come looking for you. That gives you six hours to enjoy by yourselves. Have fun!” 

They took off, some running, some in groups, others by themselves. Peter and Sophie watched them go. “Do you think we gave them too much time?”

“No. I think they’ll be fine.” He paused. “I hope they’ll be.” They headed off to Rusty’s. 

Daisy, Ezra, Jules and Auggie were all heading for the drug store. Auggie had balked since that was where he’d been arrested but Daisy had bullied him into going. Kat had said she wanted to find a bookstore. Shelby and Scott were left alone. 

“So, should we find a place to be alone?”

“No motels, remember?”

“We don’t need a motel. Just someplace where no one will disturb us. Truth is, we don’t even need a bed.”

He pulled out of her grasp and started after the gang. “I think I’ll catch up. You can come if you want.” 

She watched him walk away, her face puzzled, but she did catch up at last. The girls were all cooing over the makeup and trying to get Ezra to try some. “I’m gay, not a cross dresser,” he told them, backing up. Auggie was keeping his distance as well. 

“Shelby, I bet this color would look great on you,” Daisy called out as they came in. Shelby let herself be pulled in. 

“Man, why are chicks so weird?”

“How would I know?” Ezra told Auggie. “Gay over here, remember?”

“Yeah.” 

After a while, it seemed like the girls had forgotten them so they went out to sit on the sidewalk and wait. When it seemed they would never come out Auggie stood up. “If they’re gonna be all girly girl let’s go do something else.”

“Like what? There’s nothing to do here.”

“I dunno. Something, man.”

“If you’ve got an idea, I’d like to hear it,” Ezra said. 

Auggie opened his mouth, closed it again and sat back down. Scott chuckled. They waited a bit more then finally the girls came out. “We found such great stuff!” 

“It’s all gonna get taken once we get back,” Ezra told them.

“Yeah, but we can use it now. And we’ll have it later,” Shelby said, showing off her new pink lips. 

“Whatever. Can we do something else now? We just lost a whole hour to this make-up thing.”

“We should meet up with Kat. Where is she?”

“At the bookstore.”

“Let’s go.” Daisy led the way. 

When they got there they found Kat deep into a book about the local mountains. She exclaimed over the girls’ make-up purchases and the guys rolled their eyes again. Somehow they all drifted apart and ended up looking at different books. Scott ended up sitting in one of the big chairs, not reading anything but watching instead. Auggie and Jules were in the romance section, trying not to touch. 

Daisy was reading stuff from the tiny occult section, nodding to herself and mumbling. Kat was still engrossed in her book. Shelby was checking out the magazines. Ezra was in the non-fiction section. 

Finally Scott stood up. “Hey. I’m hungry. Let’s go eat.”

“Sounds good. Means going to Rusty’s though.”

“So we go to Rusty’s,” Ezra said, tucking a book under his arm and heading to the register to pay for it. “I could eat anything right now.”

When they all nodded and everyone paid for their purchases they headed out--as a group--for Rusty’s. They saw Peter and Sophie and waved but continued on to their own table. As they were going by Ezra heard “would you look at that?” from Sophie and half smiled. 

They ordered and talked, teased and laughed. They sat for a long time sipping drinks and stealing each other’s food. Then Jules said, “I want to go see the stars.”

Auggie nodded. “Sounds good.” He stood and held out his hand to her. She glanced over to the table where Peter and Sophie were but bravely took his hand anyway. 

“It does sound pretty good,” Daisy said, also getting up, pulling Ezra with her. 

Shelby followed suit with Scott and Kat got up too. They looked at Peter, who nodded and gestured to the waitress for the check. Then they headed out. They walked out of town, to a clearing near the edge. The sun was going down and it was getting colder. Jules snuggled in close to Auggie and Shelby wrapped her arms around Scott. Daisy put her arm around Ezra and pulled him close as well. Kat looked forlorn but then Daisy went over to her and pulled her in too. 

They found a spot on the ground and settled. The sun went down and the stars started to come out. Jules lay back and Auggie settled down beside her. “We see the stars all the time at Horizon. Why don’t we ever look at them?”

“Too busy slaving away,” Daisy said. 

There was a gentle laugh. 

Shelby turned and kissed the side of Scott’s face. He pulled away as if burned. “What is wrong with you?” she asked. “You’ve been acting weird for a while.”

Everyone looked at him. Ezra wouldn’t meet his eyes. Daisy stared at him. He looked down, in silence, for what felt like an eternity then said, “we need to talk.”

“Then talk.”

“In private.”

“We share everything with these guys. There are no secrets. Just spill.”

“C’mon Shelby,” Jules started to say.

“Shut up, Princess. You got something to say to me,” she directed at Scott, “then say it.”

“OK. I’ve been cheating on you.”

That was the last thing anyone expected. Except Ezra. 

“What?” Shelby gasped. 

“What?” Jules echoed. 

“Yeah. I’ve been seeing someone else while I’ve been seeing you. And, frankly, the last few days I’ve come to realize I’d rather be with them.”

“I don’t believe this.” Shelby turned to Juliette. “It’s not enough you have Auggie. You have to try get Scott back too?!”

“I didn’t--!” She shouted.

“It’s not Jules,” Scott told her. 

“Don’t tell me it’s Daisy. You’re not her type.”

“No. It’s not Daisy. Or Kat.”

“Oh please, don’t even try to convince me you’re with Sophie,” Shelby laughed. 

“Scott,” Ezra’s voice cut through. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yeah. I really do.” He looked right at Shelby, meeting her eyes. “It’s Ezra.”

“I know that’s Ezra, I recognize the voice.”

“No,” Scott shook his head. “I’ve been seeing Ezra. He’s the one.”

Everyone froze. 

“What?” Auggie finally said. 

Ezra opened his eyes. “Scott…” he said again but Daisy was clapping. 

“Well _finally_ , All American. It’s about time.”

He smiled at her and got a big one in return. He got up and went to Ezra, taking his hand. “It’s true, you guys. We’re together.”

Jules looked horrified. “You’re gay?”

“No. I mean, I like girls. I just…”

“I believe the term,” Daisy cut in, “is bisexual. Means you like both girls and guys.”

“Well, that’s not fair!” Juliette shouted. “You shouldn’t be able to like both!”

Ezra couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. “Jules, you crack me up.” 

Shelby hadn’t moved. “You were sneaking around with him while you were with me?”

“I’m sorry,” and he really was. “But I had to make a choice.”

“And you choose him.” 

“Yes.”

“Why? Because he doesn’t have boobs? Because he can get you good drugs? Because he wasn’t a whore?”

Kat went to her. “Shelby, stop it!”

“No, I want to know!” she screamed. “Why him?”

“Because,” Scott looked at her, “he makes me feel safe. He didn’t push or press or chase me. He makes me laugh and feel better about myself.”

“Sounds like the hallmarks of a good friend to me,” Jules said. 

“He is. But,” Scott turned and looked at him, “there’s also an attraction.”

“Yeah, we all know what that is,” Shelby’s voice was bitter. “So you’re so scared of girls and sex with them that you’re a cocksucker now?”

“Shelby!” Several voices shouted and Scott flushed in anger. 

Ezra put his hand on Scott’s arm and stood. “Shelby, I know you’re angry.”

“You think?”

“But I never pressured Scott to leave you. I was happy to share. He made his own choice.”

“Yeah, well, sooner or later he’ll leave you too. I figure by the time he’s graduated he’ll have gone through everyone.” She spat in their direction. “Talk about whores.”

“That’s enough!” Kat grabbed her. Shelby wrenched out of the hold and marched away. 

“Someone should go after her,” Jules said. 

“No,” Scott said. “Leave her be for now.”

“She might try to hurt herself.”

“She just needs time. She’ll cool down.” They settled into an uncomfortable silence. 

“Have you ever kissed?” Jules suddenly asked. 

“Juliette!” 

“What? I just wanted to know.”

Ezra smiled and looked at her. “Why? Wanna compare notes?”

She looked back. “Did he do that thing with his tongue yet?”

Ezra’s smile got wider. “Which thing with his tongue? He’s done several.”

“Oh God!” Auggie shouted. “I do _not_ need to hear this!”

Scott’s face was flaming and he poked Ezra in the ribs. “You mind?”

“What? I figure girlfriend over there and I should compare notes, that’s all.” He turned his attention back. “Ever get a crick in your neck cause he’s so tall?”

“All the time!” Jules came over. “I used to stand on my tip-toes to make myself seem taller.”

“I figured I’d try standing on a box.” 

“Kill me now,” Scott buried his face in his hands. 

Daisy was laughing so hard she was practically crying. Auggie looked disgusted, Kat was still staring out worriedly. Jules and Ezra were chattering away. 

“And don’t you just love his hair?” 

“Totally. So soft.”

“Enough!” Scott cried and turned to Jules. “Go back to your own boyfriend.”

“Jeez. We didn’t even talk about the hand thing.”

“What hand thing?” Scott asked but Ezra just leaned in and whispered with Jules, who giggled. “Never mind, just go away.”

They separated again and this time Scott stayed with his boyfriend. Huh, how easily that term came to mind now. Daisy looked at him. “Glad you finally picked a side, All American.”

“Thanks. This mean no more death threats from you?”

“No. Wouldn’t want you to get too comfy and Ezra is my friend. Now go make kissy face while you can, boys.” She got up and started to walk away. Ezra got up and went to her, hugged her tight as he whispered something. She smiled, touched his face and walked away. She and Kat talked for a bit then turned back. “We’re gonna go try to find Shelby. Figure she’s calmed down some. We’ll meet you at Rusty’s.”

“Deal. If we’re late, don’t send out a search party cause we’re busy,” Ezra joked. 

“Ezra!” Scott blushed. 

“Aww, so cute,” he pinched his cheek. Daisy shook her head and she and Kat walked away. Auggie and Jules got up and said they were going for a walk.


	3. Chapter 3

“Um, I guess it’s all cool,” Auggie said, looking down at Scott. 

“Thanks.” He held out his fist and they bumped them. 

“Still think you could do better than Meat here, though, bro,” Auggie told Ezra. 

Ezra just smiled and waved to them. Jules called back something about talking later. Now it was just the two of them in that darkened clearing. 

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, I really did,” Scott told him. “I meant every word.”

“Yeah.”

“What?”

“Scott, don’t take this the wrong way, all right? But you do have a habit of falling in love and then leaving people.”

He went stony faced. “You think I’m just playing you?”

“No. I believe that you feel this way.” He took both of Scott’s hands and held tight. “I guess I’m just afraid.”

“That I’ll stop liking you.”

“Yeah.”

“Like I stopped liking Shelby.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll tell you a few things, Ezra. First, I never stopped liking Shelby. I still do. It’s just I wanted to be with you exclusively. Second, you’re different. I’ve never been with anyone who makes me feel like you do. You make me feel different. And third, I wouldn’t do that to you because I love you, you big jerk.”

Ezra’s hands went cold. “What?”

“I’m not repeating all that.”

“Just the last part then.”

“That’s why I said stuff. That’s why I chose you. Because I love you, all right?”

“You barely know me.”

“I know enough. I know my feelings. I know how you make me feel when I’m with you. But if you think that’s not enough--” That was as far as he got because Ezra slammed into him bodily, pushing them both to the ground as he kissed him fiercely. 

When they were both gasping for breath he pulled back. “I love you too, ya big jock,” and then dove back in to kiss Scott’s lips again. 

They made out there for a while then broke apart, lying in the grass but holding hands. 

“When my parents told me I was adopted,” Ezra started to talk, “I didn’t worry too much. They said they loved me. They told me what they went through to adopt me. I felt special. But as time went on and they fought more and more I stopped feeling that way. I stopped loving them as much as they stopped loving me.”

Scott squeezed his hand tightly. 

“I never thought I’d love again. Even platonically. And when I figured out I was gay?” He scoffed. “I figured I was screwed. I never thought I’d find someone. Then you came to Horizon. This hurt, broken guy who had eyes for Juliette and Shelby both. I fell in love with you.”

“Why?”

“Shh, I’m telling a story,” he kissed Scott to take away the burn. “I never figured you’d like me back. We got to be friends of a sort. Then this happened.” He gestured between them. “I thought I would take what I could get.”

Scott stayed silent this time. 

“It was the best time of my life. I began to understand why they write all that crap about love, you know? But I figured eventually you’d go back to Shelby. Ah well, at least I had something, right?” He got up on one elbow and looked down through the darkness at Scott. “Then tonight? Standing up like that? Telling everyone. I guess it feels like it’s not real. Like it’s going to disappear.”

Scott pulled him down for a kiss. “I get that. But it’s not going to. _I’m_ not going to. Listen, I’m not the best boyfriend, I’m the first to admit that. But Ezra, I love you. I wanna be with you.”

“It’ll be tough.”

“I know,” he nodded. 

“Really tough.”

“ _I know_ ,” he said again and pulled him down into a hug. “But worth it?”

“Hell yeah.” They both laughed, their chests fluttering against each other. They lay there, safe in each other’s arms. 

“We should be heading into town.”

“We’ve got time.”

“My ass is asleep,” Scott protested. 

“Oh well, in that case,” Ezra smiled and climbed up off him. They got up and linked hands, walking in the dark. As they went into town they dropped each other’s hands by mutual decision. Scott noticed that the clocks read 10:30. 

“Should we find the others?”

“Not sure where they’d be,” Ezra said. 

They ended up just walking, touching occasionally. By 11:15 they’d basically walked the town. They turned to head back to Rusty’s and that’s when Jules and Auggie appeared. 

“Hey,” she greeted them.

“Hey, you two,” Ezra said. 

They formed a group and headed back. It was 11:30 when they reached Rusty’s. Everyone else was there. Shelby studiously avoided looking at both Scott and Ezra. They sat down and sipped on water. At exactly midnight Peter and Sophie came in. 

“Everyone have a good time?” There was a mixed response. “All right, well, the cars are waiting. Everybody load up.”

They all headed back and once there they had to turn over most of the stuff they had purchased, though they were allowed to keep the books. Ezra still wouldn’t show what he had bought to anyone. Peter took one look at the cover and handed it back with a cough. They went back to their cabins and settled in. Scott didn’t have a chance to talk to Shelby at all. 

He didn’t have a chance to talk to her the next day either. They were busy with class and school work. He spent time with Ezra, feeling a little guilty as he did so but not guilty enough to stop. They didn’t do much more than hold hands and kiss but it still felt good. 

The next day was Group. No one was looking forward to this. 

“All right,” Peter clapped his hands. “Who wants to go first?”

“Me.” Shelby stood. 

“Go ahead.”

“First, did you know Ezra’s gay, Peter?”

“You know I do, Shelby.”

“Well, did you also know that he and Scott are a couple now?”

“Shelby!” Scott cried. “That’s not for you to tell!”

“What’s the matter? Ashamed?”

“No. But it’s private.”

“Yeah.” She turned back to Peter and looked at his face. “You didn’t know. Join the club. Scott was apparently cheating on me with him,” she threw a hand out at Ezra, “while we were together.”

“Shelby--” Ezra started to speak.

“Shut up!”

“Hey,” Scott got up again, “don’t talk to him like that.”

“Oh, don’t want me talking down to your boy toy?”

Peter held up his hands. “Wait, just calm down everyone. Sit down.” When they had he turned to Ezra. “Is this true?”

“Yes.”

“All of it?”

“Scott and I are together. He was seeing me while he was dating Shelby, part of the time anyway.”

“I see.” He turned back to Shelby. “I can understand why that would make you angry.”

“Angry? That he left me for this little--”

“I told you, don’t talk about him like that.” 

Ezra put his hand on Scott’s knee. “No. Let her get her anger out. If I lost you I’d be bitter too.”

“Would you?” She threw her hands up. “Nice. Can’t believe you turned my boyfriend gay.”

Daisy spoke up. “He didn’t ‘turn him gay’.”

“Oh yeah? Then how come he was only into girls before Ezra? Doesn’t that strike you as a little strange? How they barely spoke to each other until Ezra made a play for him and then suddenly they’re all lovey-dovey?”

“Shelby--”

She kept going. “He was into **me**. While he was with Jules, while he was with Ezra. He was into me. That means he’s not gay, or bi,” she made a face, “but straight. Hell, even his stepmother--” she stopped. 

Scott turned pale. Everyone held their breath. 

It was Ezra who broke the silence. “You bitch,” he said and got up, helping Scott up as well. 

“Ezra--” Peter started. 

“No. I’m not gonna stay here and let Scott be attacked.” He led a hyperventilating boy from the room. They ended up in the bathrooms as Scott vomited up his lunch. When he was done Ezra mopped his face with a wet washcloth. He wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. “It’s OK. You’re safe.”

“I can’t believe she said that,” Scott whispered against his neck. “Her, of all people.”

“She was lashing out. She shouldn’t have hurt you like that but I don’t think she really meant it. But it was wrong.”

Leaning against the slighter boy, Scott let the tears fall. When he was cried out he swiped at his eyes. “Thanks.”

“For letting you get my shirt all snotty?” 

“No. For defending me.”

“I called her a ‘bitch’. I’m gonna pay for that one.”

“No, you’re not,” came a voice from above them. It was Daisy. “She was a bitch when she said it. And she’s sorry.”

“She should be.” There was a bite to Ezra’s tone they rarely heard. 

“She is. But it doesn’t mean it was right of her to say it.” She crouched down with them. “Peter sent me to check on you guys. He wants to know if you’re ready to come back?”

“Is she still there?”

“No.”

“We’ll be there in a few,” Scott said, still holding onto Ezra. 

Daisy nodded and stood up again. She stopped in the doorway. “For the record, I had wondered. But now? I see what he sees in you.” With that she was gone. 

“I think we just got best friend approval,” Ezra said with a smile. 

“I think so too.” They sat there a few more minutes, Scott pulling himself together. Then he stood up, shakily. They clasped hands and headed back to group. 

Peter was pacing and looked relieved when they entered the room. “Are you two all right?”

“Yeah.” They sat down together. 

“Shelby’s been put on restriction. She was outta line.”

“We know.”

“But we do have to talk. Now that I know you two are together, some changes have to be made.”

“You’re going to move one of us out of the cabin?” Ezra guessed. 

“No!” Scott shouted. 

“I’m sorry, Scott.”

“No, you can’t take him away. We’ve been together for a while now and nothing’s happened. We wouldn’t anyway, not with everyone there. Don’t separate us!”

“I have to.”

“We’ll still both be Cliffhangers though, right?” Ezra asked. 

“I should really put you in separate groups as well,” Peter started to say. 

Scott’s eyes were hard. “If you do this, I swear I will never forgive you.”

“It’s the rules.”

“Screw the rules!”

“Scott--”

But he was out the door and running. Peter started after him but Ezra held up a hand. “No. Let him be. He needs time to cool down. I’ll find him later.” He looked at their counselor. “You need to bend the rules this time, Peter. If you don’t, we’re going to lose him. There’s only so much he can take.”

Scott didn’t come back until dark. He came into the dining room area and the Cliffhangers, all but Shelby, were sitting there. The room went silent when he came in. Ezra jumped up and ran right to him, not caring that they were being seen by all the other students. He hugged him hard, noticing the dirt and the twigs all over him. 

“Are you all right? Are you hurt?”

“No. Not hurt.” There was a new tone to Scott’s voice, something Ezra had never heard before. Before he had a chance to think, Scott was dipping him back and laying one hell of a kiss on his lips. After the moment of surprise, Ezra kissed back, letting all his fear and desperation come through. They clung to each other like two leaves in a swirling river. When they finally came up for air, Ezra blushed as he realized everyone was staring at them. Scott didn’t seem to care. 

He took his hand and made his way across to the table. “Hey guys.”

“Hey yourself,” Daisy greeted him. 

“Welcome back, Meat,” Auggie said.

“You look terrible,” Juliette piped up. 

“Thanks,” he laughed. “I need to talk to Peter. Is he in his office?”

“I think so,” Kat said. 

Scott got up, Ezra too. “No,” he said, “you stay here.” At the look he got he smiled and caressed the younger boy’s hand. “It’s okay. I’ll see you in a bit.” Then he walked off. 

“Something happened. He seems…changed.”

“He does,” Kat said in a hushed tone. 

Ezra stared after him, not saying a word. 

Scott knocked on Peter’s door. “Peter?”

“Scott! Thank God. We were worried.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” He sat down in the chair and looked up. “We need to talk.”

“Yes we do.”

“I’d like to start.”

“Go ahead.”

He began to tell Peter about what had happened. He told him things but not all the details. When he was done he leaned in. “Do you see? Ezra’s important to me.”

“I know. You’ll both still be here. But we can’t keep the two of you together.”

“Then move one of us out of the cabin but don’t take one of us out of the Cliffhangers.” Normally he would have shouted this but now it came out calm. Peter was a bit surprised. “Peter, you can’t take him from me. I need him.”

“That worries me, Scott. This attachment to Ezra sprang up so suddenly. Maybe you could do with some time apart.”

Scott took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his face. “You’re always saying you do what’s best for us kids. This is what’s best.”

“I’m not sure you’re seeing clearly.”

“I am.” Lifting his head, he leveled his gaze at the head of Horizon. “I really am.”

“I’ll think about it. But my decision will be final, Scott.”

With a sigh, he got up and left. Once outside he ran into Ezra. 

“What’d he say?” 

Scott told him. 

“No matter what happens,” Ezra pulled him into a corner, “you have to promise me something.”

“What?”

“You won’t do anything stupid.”

“Like?”

“Like run away again. Or try to hurt yourself.”

“I was never a cutter like Jules.” Ezra just looked at him. “I promise.”

Nodding, he said, “I’m gonna keep you to that.”

“I know.” They hugged and then walked to the common room. 

Later Sophie came in and said that until status was determined one of them had to bunk with the Rockclimbers. 

“I’ll go,” Scott said. He looked over at Ezra. Nodding, he followed Sophie back to get his things. 

They both moped the next day. They were barely allowed to see each other. Then Peter came out and called them both into his office. 

“Sit down, both of you.” He clasped his hands and put them on his desk. “I want you both to know this was not an easy decision. I understand it might make you angry but I want you to hear me out first.”

“You’re separating us,” Ezra said in a dead tone. 

“Will you let me finish, Ez?”

“Sorry. Go ahead and explain why you’re destroying our lives.”

Peter shook his head. “I’m not. Look, this came out of nowhere, you have to admit that. And it does break the rules.”

“Scott and Jules, Jules and Auggie, Scott and Shelby,” Ezra chanted. 

“A valid argument. But none of those couples slept in the same cabin together.”

“We’ve been together for a while and nothing’s happened. What happened to trust, Peter?” Scott asked. 

“I do trust you. But you are teenage boys. I know the hormones.” He held up his hand. “I am not finished though. We’re moving one of you--you two will have to decide who goes--out of the cabin. But, after much debate, we’ve decided not to move either of you from the Cliffhangers. That’s,” he said over the looks exchanged between the two of them, “if the rest of your group is good with it.”

“Does that include Shelby?”

“Yes.”

“Great. We’re dead,” Ezra moaned. 

“Maybe not. I want you both to sit down and talk to her tomorrow. She’s coming back to Group.”

“Terrific.”

“This is a good thing guys.”

“We’ll see.” Scott stood. “Anything else?”

“I gotta ask.”

Ezra smiled. “Go ahead.”

“I mean, how?” he gestured. 

“He fell for my charm and grace,” Ezra said.

Scott smiled. “Exactly.” They walked out together. 

Jules rushed them instantly. “So?”

They told everyone. “So anyone against the idea of us staying in Cliffhangers?” Scott asked. 

“And be rid of your scintillating company?” Daisy asked, patting the seat beside her. Ezra collapsed then pulled Scott down by him. 

“I’m cool as long as you don’t make with the kissy-face in front of me,” Auggie told them. 

“It’s fine by me.” Kat shrugged. 

“Jules?”

“Of course we want you to stay, sillies!” She slapped them. 

“Maybe we’d be better off in a different group,” Scott rolled his eyes and laughed. That got him a whap with a pillow. Soon they were all playing and laughing. They settled at last and caught their breath. 

“Now we just have convince Shelby.”

That got everyone sobered up fast. 

The next day everyone was twitchy and didn’t talk much. Time for Group approached and they headed for it. Ezra stopped Scott by the door. “Whatever happens, I love you.”

“I love you too.” They kissed softly and then went in.


	4. Chapter 4

Shelby, Peter and Sophie were all in there already as the rest of the group sat down. Ezra, very deliberately, pushed his chair closer to Scott’s--within touching distance. Shelby looked away. 

“Special session today guys. First Shelby has something she wants to say.”

She got up, brushed her hair behind her ears and licked her lips. Scott had tensed up a little. “Scott, I want to say I’m really, really sorry about that cheap shot about your step mom. It was way out of line and I feel very bad about it.”

He said nothing, so she continued. “It hurt me a lot when you said you were with Ezra. Even more than you cheating on me, that you picked a guy over me. And that you picked Ezra,” she saw the group scowl. “I don’t mean anything but Ezra? It came out of nowhere. It made me think that what we had was all just…not real. Like you were playing me.”

He broke in. “I wasn’t. I swear.”

“I know. I knew back then. I just kinda lost it.”

“You think?” Kat said and they all laughed. 

“But I think that you and Ezra make a good couple and if you’re happy I’m happy. You know and all that sort of stuff. I want you both to stay in the Cliffhangers.” She stopped. “Guess that’s about it.”

Peter nodded. “All right. Thank you, Shelby. Scott, Ezra, what would you like to say back?”

Scott looked at Ez, who waved a hand. He got up. “I never played you. I really have always felt a connection with you. It just turned out to be different than the one with Ezra. You’re my best friend,” he told her. “It hurt like hell when you said that. I was so angry. But maybe you needed to say it. I know you’ve always had problems with…that.” He shut his eyes tight. “I’m not sure if I can forgive you for it yet but I’ve moved on.”

She nodded. He looked like he was about to continue then he sat down abruptly. 

Peter nodded at Ezra, who stood. “Believe me, I understand how you feel. If I lost Scott, I’d probably be a basket case. But you hurt him a lot with that comment and I don’t forgive you either. But I’m moving past it too. We’re grateful that you want us to stay.” He looked at her. “We’ve never been that good of friends, Shelby. But I always did consider you a friend. I hope I still can.”

She nodded again. 

“All right. Anyone else have anything they want to add?”

“Just that if we’re about done with the latest Barringer love triangle, maybe we can get back to normal around here?” Auggie piped up. 

“What’s normal?” Ezra asked. 

“Not sure you’d know,” Auggie teased back. They all laughed, even Scott and Ezra. 

“So Ezra and Scott stay in the Cliffhangers.” Peter clapped his hands and stood. “I think we should celebrate. With a hike!”

“Awww!” They all groaned, rolling their eyes. 

They were told to get their gear for a quick hike before supper. Grumbling but mostly happy they went. “Looks like all’s well that ends well,” Ezra said to Scott as they started off on the hike. 

“Good thing.”

Ezra peered at him. “You totally had a plan if they separated us, didn’t you? Were we going to be terribly romantic and run away together? Or were you going to go Romeo and Juliet and have us kill ourselves for our love?”

Scott stopped him with a touch on his arm. They stood in the middle of the trees, the group forging on in front of them. “I wasn’t going to let them take you from me.”

Ezra’s eyes grew wide. “Jesus. You were going to kill yourself, weren’t you?” Scott looked down. Two hands reached out and grabbed his face. “You listen to me, Scott Barringer. No matter what happens, you _promise_ you will _never_ do that.” Ezra’s tone was fierce but you could hear tears behind it. “Don’t you dare. Or I will follow right behind you and make your afterlife a living hell.”

Scott let out a watery laugh. “Yeah.” A tear spilled down his cheek. “I know this has all happened so fast. But you have no idea how much you’ve come to mean to me, Ezra.” His voice broke and bled in his throat. 

Pulling him into a tight embrace, Ezra held him. They stood there, two young men, in the woods, holding on. 

The sound of a throat clearing parted them. “Gotta get moving,” Daisy said softly. 

They both nodded and followed after her. Soon they caught up to the group, who all looked at them but said nothing. Not even Peter. They hiked up and back, Scott and Ezra never parting more than a few feet from each other. 

That night they stood in the courtyard. 

“So strange to go to different beds,” Scott muttered. 

“Yeah. But at least that’s all.”

“Yeah.” He had his hands in his pockets. “I wish I could touch you.”

“I’d tell you to meet me in the laundry room later but I have the feeling we’re going to be watched like hawks for the first few days.”

“I know. And as much as I want to be with you, we do need to lie low for a while.” They leaned in toward each other but did not touch. “Night.”

“Night.” 

They walked away from each other, but both glanced back. That night was seemingly endless and filled with longing. As were the nights that followed. Two weeks passed and they both were told they were doing very well. They’d managed to sneak a few kisses here and there but not much else. 

Then came the announcement that Ezra’s parents were coming for a visit. Scott knew what this meant to him. He wanted to be there when they arrived but wasn’t allowed. He did get to meet them though, when the Cliffhangers were introduced. Knowing that Ezra had not come out to them, he played it cool and had ordered everyone else to as well. 

He was in the cabin by himself when suddenly the door flew open and Ezra came in. Half sitting up, Scott started to speak but was stopped by the body that was veritably flung at him. With a grunt, he crashed back to the bed. He held onto the violently trembling boy. 

“That bad?”

“Worse.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“First just hold me, please.”

“I think I can do that,” Scott said with infinite softness, petting his back. They lay there for some time, until the tremors subsided. Then he eased them up. “C’mon, laundry room.”

“But no one’s here.”

“They could come in at any time. You don’t live in this cabin anymore, remember?”

“Right. Must have slipped my mind.” Holding hands, they went through the compound and slipped into the laundry room. They didn’t turn on the lights, knowing their way around so well now they didn’t need them. They went to ‘their spot’ and sank to the floor. 

Scott held him and whispered, “ready to talk about it yet?”

“Dinner was great, as it always is at Rusty’s. My parents started arguing, it turned out their reconciliation was a sham.” He stopped. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It gets better. I got mad at them and told them.”

Scott blinked. “Told them?”

“Yeah. They were saying terrible things and I said ‘thanks for being honest with me. Let me return the favor. I’m gay. And in love with a fellow camper up at Horizon.’”

Scott shook his head. “What did they say?”

“It actually shut them up for a minute. Then I said ‘can I get dessert?’”

He burst out laughing at Ezra’s line. It even drew a smile from the slighter boy. “Then what?” 

“They brought me back. They made a beeline for Peter’s office. I made a beeline for you.”

“They’re probably looking for you.”

“I don’t care. I really don’t. I don’t care if I ever see them again.” Ezra looked up, into his eyes. “We’ve been apart for too long.” With one quick move, he moved in for a kiss. 

“Ezra…”

“I know this isn’t the best place but Scott, I want you. I want this.” Touching that face, he continued, “I want to make love with you. I want to _have sex_ with you.” He stopped, looking to see if he’d freaked the other boy out. 

Scott knew that and covered those hands on his face with his own. “Maybe it’s Peter’s voice in my head talking--”

“I don’t think we should be talking about Peter right before sex. Too kinky for me.”

“But,” Scott continued, “I don’t think now, right after this thing with your parents, is the best time.”

Ezra drew back. “You’re saying no?”

“I’m saying ‘not now’.”

Prying his hands loose, Ezra said indignantly, “you were hot enough to trot when Shelby was offering you sex.” Then he sucked in a breath and looked away. “I’m sorry. That was really mean.”

“It was. But I get it. That’s what I mean, Ez. You mean too much to me.”

Looking up, Ezra gathered his courage. “I have to ask…”

“Go ahead.”

“If it weren’t for the timing--?”

“I’d be all over you like white on rice,” Scott told him, then leaned in and kissed him hard. 

“Nice image. I’ll never be able to eat rice again.” He smiled then got serious. “I just know how hard that is for you. Sex and intimacy and stuff. Because of her.”

Scott had confided details to Ezra, details he hadn’t told anyone else. Now he kissed him gently and said, “thank you for being concerned. But it would be different, because it’s you.” He grinned. “Different parts and all.”

Ezra laughed and fell against his chest, holding tight. “Very true. I love you, Scott.”

“I love you too.” 

They held each other there on the laundry room floor until the moon rose. Then they crept out and went to the point where they would have to go different ways. Glancing around, Scott grabbed him, pulled him in close and kissed him passionately. He brought his full body against Ezra’s, letting him feel his arousal. He reached down and cupped Ezra’s ass through his jeans, giving the cheeks a squeeze. 

Their hips moved against each other and Ezra gasped against his mouth. “Don’t doubt that I want you,” Scott told him. 

Breath coming quickly, Ezra said, “I sure won’t now.” They kissed one last time then let go. Scott watched him leave them turned back to his own cabin. He hadn’t gone more than a couple of steps when he saw her. 

“Shelby. How long were you there?”

“Long enough.” She shrugged. 

“You saw?”

“You kissing your little boyfriend? Yeah.”

“You gonna tell?”

“No.” They stood there in silence. Then he went to leave. “Can I ask you one question?”

He stopped. “Shoot.”

“What do you see in him? I mean, really. You don’t have much in common except the drug past. You and I seem closer than you and Ezra were before this. I don’t get it.”

“You gonna ask me the question again?”

“No. But I’m thinking it.”

Scott nodded. “Yeah, maybe part of it is that he’s a guy and doesn’t remind me of her. But it’s more than that.”

“Explain it to me because I really don’t get it.”

“I know. I’m not sure I can explain it to you. Except that I love him.”

“But why?”

“Because he’s Ezra,” he shrugged. “That’s about the best I can give you.”

She shook her head. When he didn’t say more, she walked away. He followed shortly after. 

The next morning he found out that Ezra was on restriction because he hadn’t been found when they looked for him. Luckily, that still meant he got to attend class and eat with the Cliffhangers, otherwise he wasn’t allowed to hang out. So he and Scott still got to see each other. They even both ended up on kitchen detail one night, playing footsie under the sink, which made everyone else tease them, of course. 

When things finally seemed to start lightening up and Ezra’s restriction ended, Scott came to him in the common room. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Meet me by the benches later?”

“Okay.” 

As Scott walked away and Ezra watched, Auggie looked up and said, “you got it bad, man.”

Ezra just shrugged and smiled. Later, he went down to the benches by the docks. “Scott?”

“Here. Sorry.” He appeared out of the dark. “Peter was patrolling.”

They came together and kissed. They sat down on the bench, arms around each other. This was different from the laundry room. Perhaps not so close or intimate but special. 

They cuddled under the stars when suddenly Ezra found himself crying. 

“Ez?” Scott sounded scared. “Did I hurt you?”

“No.” He swiped at his eyes. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“Yes you do.”

Ezra laughed as he sniffed. “Yeah, therapy is good for some things.”

“Then why?”

“Because I’m happy. Because you love me. Because this,” he gestured between them, “is better than any drug I’ve ever taken. Oh God, I’m a Hallmark card!”

Laughing, Scott brought his head back up. “Maybe. But it’s still sweet.” And he bent down and kissed away his tears, then his mouth. The salty taste mixed between them. The kiss went deeper. More passionate and they fell back against the bench. Scott straddled him and their groins touched through their jeans. A moan escaped from Ezra’s lips. Taking courage, he slid his hands down and put them on Scott’s ass, which made the other boy gasp. 

“Sorry!” Ezra let go immediately. 

“No. It’s cool. Put ‘em back.”

“You sure?”

“Put ‘em back or I will.”

“Yes sir.” He put them back. They lay there, Scott on top, kissing and grinding against each other. Ezra wrapped his legs up and around, drawing him close and Scott basically attacked his mouth. Scattering kisses all over Ezra’s face he moved against him, then hid in the hollow of his throat. 

“Ez. Oh God, I’m going to come.”

“Do it,” Ezra whispered. “I’m right behind you.” 

That was it. Scott bit down to contain his shout and came in his pants. A few seconds later, so did Ezra. They collapsed against each other and lay there, catching their breath.

Finally Ezra said, “Scott? Can’t breathe.”

“Sorry.” He peeled himself up and off. He looked ashamed. 

“What’s wrong? That was terrific.”

“It was supposed to be better. Special. We just humped with our clothes on by the docks. That was your first time. I wanted more for you.”

“It couldn’t have been better. It was perfect because it was with you.” He cradled Scott to his chest, who sank against him gratefully. After long minutes he added, “I really need to change out of these jeans.”

Scott laughed and lifted his head, running his hand through his hair. They headed back, careful not to be seen and parted with a kiss and whispered words of adoration. 

The next morning they met up for breakfast at the Cliffhangers table. 

“I’ll be damned,” Shelby said as they sat. 

“What?” Scott asked. 

“You boys got laid.”

Auggie choked on his water. “Shelby!”

“Didn’t you?” she asked, leaning forward. “Believe me, I know what just got laid looks like.”

“Well, you don’t have to broadcast it,” Ezra said. 

“So you admit it’s true?” Daisy had to ask. 

Ezra turned fire engine red. 

“Oh my God!” Juliette shrieked, making them all wince away. “I don’t believe it!”

“Jeez, Jules, my ears,” Auggie shook his head. 

“Calm down, you’ll bring the heat over,” Scott shushed her. They all ate very carefully as several counselors went by. 

“So?” Shelby started. 

“So, what?” Scott asked her. 

“Who ‘pitched’ and who was the ‘catcher’?”

“Jesus, Shel!” Scott threw his fork down. 

“Oh c’mon.”

“I don’t get it. What’s baseball got to do with them having sex?” Jules asked. 

“A little louder, I don’t think Peter heard you,” Kat said, waving a hand at her. 

“In her usual tactful way I think she’s asking which position these guys took,” Daisy said. Then seeing her confusion still she shook her head. “Never mind.”

“No, I want to know.”

“I don’t,” Auggie said, getting up. “So leave me out of it.”

“I do. What are you talking about?” She looked around at the two of them. 

“I want to know too. Cause I never pictured Scott as a ‘catcher’. But then I never pictured him as gay either.”

Ezra rolled his eyes and chewed on his omelet. “Sorry, Shelby. I don’t kiss and tell.”

Daisy looped her arm through his. “You’ll tell me, right?”

“Nope.”

“Awww.”

“I still want to know what you’re talking about!” Juliette all but stamped her foot. 

“We’ll tell you later,” Kat said, standing. “Right now we’ve got to get to class.”

Jules was still shaking her head trying to figure it out as they walked away. Scott looked down at his plate and smiled. He saw Ezra doing it too and they burst out laughing. 

It was later in the compound when Juliette shouted, “oh wait, I get it! You mean, who plays the girl, right?”

All the rest of the Cliffhangers, except Auggie who was on kitchen duty, burst out laughing. 

“That’s some kind of a record,” Daisy said. 

“ _Who’s the girl_?” Scott asked her incredulously. 

“Well, one of you has to be, right?”

Ezra shook his head. “Ah, Juliette, my friend. We need to teach you about the joys of switching positions.”

Shelby choked on air. Kat clapped her on the back as she hacked. “You okay?”

“Could have lived without that image in my head, thanks.”

“How would you know anything about it anyway?” Shelby asked Ezra. “You had virgin written all over you.”

“Had being the operative word,” he smirked and the group gaped. 

“Ezra!” Juliette shouted while the others gasped and giggled. 

“Oh man, now you have to tell me!” Daisy shouted, then whirled on Scott. “Barringer,” she said threateningly. 

He was taking this well. He went over, sat by Ezra and slapped a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth. “Nope. We’re not talking.” 

“Fine. Someone around here finally gets some and it’s the gay boys,” Shelby muttered. 

There wasn’t much to say after that. People were either called away or drifted away. Ezra was whisked off by one of the counselors for something. “Come find me later?” Scott said, trailing his hand over Ez’s arm. 

“Yeah.”

“Oh my God, I’m going to vomit,” Shelby said and got up and left. 

Soon there was no one out there but Scott and Daisy. He looked at her. “Is this where you threaten my life again?”

“No. You’re good for him and he’s good for you. You love each other. But you both still have issues.”

“That I know.”

“Yeah. But you need to be careful. And pushing him into sex--”

“I didn’t push!” She just looked at him. “We didn’t even really…I mean…”

“Frottage?”

“What’s that?”

“Humping.”

“Oh. Um,” he looked in the direction Ezra had gone. “Yeah. With clothes on.”

She nodded. “I see. And he let you have control?”

Scott shrugged. 

“Would you ever give up control?”

“Why would I?”

“Yeah. Why would you? You’re the big strong guy right. He’s just Ezra, your little boyfriend. The gay one.” She gathered her things and got up to leave. 

“Wait, what do you mean by that?”

“Think about it. Try to come up with the answer yourself.”

He shook his head as she left. He liked Daisy but sometimes she was a pain. He met up with Ezra later but they had to keep the PDA’s on the down low because there were tons of adults around. And no places to escape to. At least Juliette wasn’t asking questions anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

Two days passed. Suddenly Peter was introducing a new kid around. Whispers had it he was a General’s kid. David something. Scott saw him leering at Daisy and didn’t like it but that was her business. Guy rubbed him the wrong way but he tried to be cool. 

That evening, at dinner, David came and sat at their table. 

“So I hear two of you are homos. Let me guess which two.”

Scott started to rise but Ezra’s hand on his arm stopped him. “Let him speak that men might know him mad,” he quoted. 

“What?” He looked puzzled. 

“It’s a quote. From an old movie.”

“Oh.”

“It means let him talk so we know what a moron he is,” Shelby added. 

“A homophobic one at that,” Kat added. 

“Doesn’t bother you?” David asked.

“As you might have guessed, I have a bit of a problem with prejudice,” she said. 

He shrugged. “If you don’t mind two--”

“Don’t say what you are about to say,” Scott threatened. 

“Aww, did I hurt your feelings? Gonna cry?” he made a crying gesture with his fist under his eyes. “Your boyfriend will kiss it and make it better, I’m sure.”

Scott started to retort but Ezra leaned in and said, “you know, they say that people who are the most insecure about their sexuality really are the ones that have the most to hide. A lot of guys who use that language are bi or gay themselves. Got something you want to tell us, honey?” He smiled. 

“As if. I’m totally all about the girls.” David leered at Daisy. 

“Ew,” Juliette said, pushing away from the table. 

They all got up. Scott stopped for a second but Ezra pulled him away. “He shouldn’t say those things.” He muttered as Ez led him off. 

“No, but you better get used to hearing them. And worse.”

“It’s not right.”

“No, it’s not.” They stopped in the hallway. “But it’s what’s going to happen if you stay with me.” He took a breath. “That change your mind?”

Scott turned from where he’d been looking back at the dining hall. “What? No.” He put his hands on Ezra’s shoulders. “No,” he repeated. 

The sunny smile he got in return was worth all of it. 

“Get a room!” Daisy called from around the corner. 

“Can we use yours?” Ezra shouted back. Everyone laughed. 

The next few days were tough. David kept coming at them, making remarks and jokes. Ezra held Scott back a lot, helping him reign his temper in. They spent a lot of time away from group and by themselves. Mostly cuddling but some making out. They didn’t dare try anything more right then. 

Scott kept thinking about certain things. About what Daisy had said. And Juliette. He knew Ezra could see him thinking but he didn’t dare speak. Not yet. 

Somehow he ended up on the buddy hike with David, who would not stop with the homophobic comments. And the stuff about the girls. He wanted to punch the guy out and even a few weeks ago he would have. But he kept hearing Ezra’s voice in his head, making sarcastic comments, and it would calm him down. 

They made it back in one piece. He noticed Ezra was there, looking a little worried. 

“Nice to see you guys made it,” Peter said. 

“It’s okay,” Scott replied, more for Ezra’s sake than Peter’s. “We’re just going to get breakfast.” He made a motion with his head and Ezra nodded back. Undoing the rope and finally able to escape, he hightailed it out of the back of the building and came around the corner, only to be yanked to the side. And kissed as if he would never be again. 

“I was so sure something would happen,” Ezra admitted after he finally let go of Scott’s lips. 

“I kept hearing your voice in my head. Kept me sane.”

“First time anyone’s ever told me that.”

They touched and kissed a little more then Scott asked, “can we meet tonight?”

“Docks or laundry?” 

“Down by the lake.”

“That’s a hike. You sure?”

“I’m sure. Please?”

“You got it.” They kissed one last time then Scott headed back in to finally eat breakfast. He ended up snoozing through his science class, which almost got him in trouble, but Kat covered for him. It did leave him fairly well rested for that night. Once the camp had settled, he grabbed some supplies, stopped at the kitchens and headed for the lake. He was just finishing setting up when Ezra showed. 

“What’s all this?” 

“A romantic moonlit picnic?” Scott was suddenly very unsure of himself. “It was stupid.” He scuffed his shoe. 

“No. It’s very sweet.” Ezra came over, took his hand and kissed him. 

“You think?”

“I do. What’d you bring?”

They settled on the sleeping bag that was open and Scott showed the things he’d pilfered from the kitchen. They snacked under the stars and enjoyed the silence. 

“I brought you out here for a reason.”

“I assumed so,” he flirted, trailing his fingers up Scott’s arm. 

“Not that. Well,” he smiled, “maybe that. But I need to talk to you about something.”

Hearing the serious tone, Ezra turned to him. “What is it?”

“It’s hard for to say, to talk about. So can you, you know, keep quiet till I’m done?”

Ezra made a motion like he was zipping his lips and nodded. 

Taking a deep breath, playing with Ezra’s fingers, Scott spoke. “Here goes. I was thinking about what Juliette said.” Seeing Ez look puzzled he said, “about the pitcher and catcher thing?”

Ezra nodded. Then made a ‘go on’ gesture. 

“Then Daisy said something.” Ezra rolled his eyes. “I know. But she did. About control. It made me think. I did a lot of that while ignoring the buzzing in my ears that was David.” They both smiled. “I mean, I’ve always thought of myself as ‘the guy’. The one who would, if we ever did something, do the, you know, doing.” He coughed and looked down. He felt a hand on his and looked up into Ezra’s eyes. “But Daisy has a point. You did too. About switching? I mean, you’re a guy too. And sometimes you might want to, you know.” He made an obscure hand gesture. “I guess I just want to tell you that I’ve thought about it and I’d do it. Just for you though.” He stopped. “OK, you can talk now.”

Ezra smiled. “Scott, this is what’s been worrying you?”

“Sort of,” he shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about it. I don’t always want to be the one in control. I know what it’s like when you aren’t.”

Ezra touched his face. “I know. I appreciate you thinking of me. But I didn’t have a problem with it when we did it on the bench. Couples tend to fall into roles, Scott. I’ve always known I was more of a bottom than a top.”

“A what?”

“Bottom is the guy who gets done, top is the guy who does the doing.”

“Oh.”

“Now I’m not saying that there won’t be times when I’ll just want to throw you down and have my way with you,” he smiled, “and I am in no way saying that I’m ‘the girl’,” he made quote marks in the air. “But part of what I love about you is that you taking care of me makes you feel better. Stronger. That makes me feel good. Just, let me take care of you sometimes too?”

“Deal.”

“Sealed with a kiss?” 

Scott laughed through his nose and bent his head, kissing the other boy. The kiss turned heated but then Ezra pulled away. “What?”

“As long as we’re talking about this,” he turned and pulled something from his backpack, “I want to show you something.” He held out a book. 

Scott took it. It didn’t have a cover and the front title had been scorched away. “This what you bought at the bookstore?”

“Yeah. I’ve had to hide it though. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it, show it to you and see what you think.”

“What is it?” He flipped it open. “Ezra!” he cried and nearly dropped it. 

“Sorry, I should have warned you!” He took the book back quickly. “Bad idea, stupid Ezra,” he muttered.

“No, no wait. I’m sorry. That startled me. Let me see it again.”

“I’m not sure--”

Scott just held his hand out. He accepted the book gingerly. Flipping it open to a page other than the one he’d done before he flushed. 

“It’s called ‘The Joy of Gay Sex’,” Ezra came clean.

“Can’t believe they had this in Agnes. It’s such a small town.”

“It was the only gay sex literature I could find. I figure since I’m a total novice at any kind and you’re only had straight sex we would need some help.”

Scott flipped the page and cocked his head. “I can tell you right now, I’m gonna need more than help to do that,” he pointed. “I’d need someone to bend me into position.”

Ezra laughed. “I just thought we might pick up some tips or something.”

“We’ve been doing pretty well on our own.” He looked at him. “You think I want more?”

“I…I don’t want to lose you.”

“Why would you lose me?”

“You’re a young, handsome virile guy; you have needs. If I’m not fulfilling them--”

“You think I’d find someone else?” Scott bristled. 

Ezra shrugged helplessly. “The thought had crossed my mind.”

Scott started to get angry but then he shook his head and leaned in, hands on his boyfriend’s neck. “Ezra, I love you. If you’re not ready then you’re not ready. Remember, I told you--”

“Respect the limits,” they said together. “I know,” Ez added. “I just--”

Scott decided words weren’t enough and bent to kiss him. Putting all his feelings behind the lip-lock. When he finally let go, Ezra swayed where he sat, eyes opening slowly. “No more talk like this. You hear me?”

“I hear you,” came the dreamy reply. 

“Good.” They moved together and resumed that kiss. Scott lay back and pulled Ezra on top of him. 

“What are you doing?”

“Letting you take care of me.” He lay there, waiting to see if his boyfriend would do anything. When Ezra didn’t move he started to sit up. “Sorry. I forgot.”

“No. I…I want to touch you. It’s just,” he turned his head away, embarrassed. 

“What?”

“You looked so beautiful, in the moonlight. Like an angel. Or a dream.”

Now blushing himself, Scott slanted his eyes away. “I’m no angel. Or a dream.”

“You’re my dream.” Ezra bent and placed soft kisses on his face. Forehead, cheeks, eyelids, chin. He moved down to Scott’s throat and licked. He felt movement under him and quickly raised his head to make sure it was all right. At the heated look in his boyfriend’s eyes, he bent back down and licked again. Another whole body jerk. “You like that.”

“Yeah,” Scott moaned out. 

“I’ll have to remember.” Giving it one last lick, he used his hands to part the over shirt and caressed the chest under the tank. When his hand went down to the ribs, Scott wiggled. This time away. He yanked his hand back. 

“Sorry. She used to touch me there. Like that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.” He got a determined look on his face and put Ezra’s hand back. “And you’re not her,” he said, seemingly to both of them. 

“No. I would never hurt you.”

“I know.” A tear spilled down his cheek but they both knew it wasn’t bad. “You love me.”

“I do. I love you. I love you so much.” Abandoning the seduction, Ezra dove into Scott’s arms, hugging him tight. “It kinda scares me, actually.”

“What does?” Scott said, clinging back just as tightly. 

“How much I love you. How much I’ve come to love you and need you in so short a time. How important you are to me.”

Squeezing tighter, Scott said, “I know. Me too.” 

They were laying there, still wrapped in each other’s arms, when they heard a noise from the woods. 

“Shit!” Scott said, rolling them over. He snuffed out the tiny light they’d been using. “Shhh.”

Ezra lay under him, holding his breath. 

The clomping got closer then a very sarcastic, very female and very familiar voice sounded out. “I know you guys are here somewhere.”

“Daisy?” Ezra said, struggling out from under Scott. “What are you doing out here?”

“I came to get you guys. They did a random bed check and discovered you two were gone. You need to come up with a lie and quick.” She eyed them. “At least I didn’t catch you in the middle of something.” She sounded almost disappointed. 

“What do we do?” Scott asked Ezra. He knew he’d have a plan. 

“Take your clothes off.”

“Now’s not the time--” Daisy started to say but Scott was already following directions. 

“Jump in the lake. Get wet all over. Then grab your clothes-make sure they stay dry--and head back. Tell them you were hot and went for a swim. Or a shower. Whichever.”

“And you?” He asked, skivvying out of his pants. 

“I’ll think of something. C’mon, Daze.” Ezra shot one last look back, helped her gather up all the stuff they could, and they headed back. 

“You sure he’s going to be okay back there?”

“Yeah.” He was thinking furiously. They were both going to be in trouble but they needed not to be found together. He needed something for himself. Something that would lead them away from Scott. That was when it hit him. “Take this stuff back, will you?” He handed it off to her. 

“What are you going to do?”

“You don’t want to know.” He took off at top speed. 

Scott, meanwhile, was cursing under his breath as he ran back himself. He’d put his pants back on but kept the rest off. He was soaked. He came around the corner and found Peter and Sophie with a large group of kids. 

“If any of you knows anything--”

Juliette gasped and pointed behind him. Peter turned and immediately moved over to him. “Where the hell were you?” he demanded. 

“Went for a swim.”

“A swim. Alone?”

“I was hot. I needed to cool off.”

Peter looked at him. “Where’s Ezra?”

“I don’t know.” He looked up from under his lashes. “I swear I don’t know where he is.” It was the truth. He didn’t know, at the moment. 

Peter gave him a look then half turned. “All right, we found one, now we need to find the other.”

“Don’t bother,” Ezra’s voice echoed out of nowhere. “I’m right here.” He appeared. 

Peter turned to him and stopped. Ezra was carrying one of the big gallon drums of ice cream they had. He had a small spoon sticking out of it. “I got a craving.”

“What are you, pregnant?” Auggie joked.

“Stow it,” Peter snapped. “I find it highly suspicious that you and Scott were both missing and then we find you like this?”

“I was in the kitchens. Go check for yourself. I’m afraid I’ve been there a while. Made a mess.” He shot a look over at Scott. “Looks like the boyfriend went for swim. Couldn’t take me along, baby cakes?” he teased. 

Instantly playing along, Scott replied, “my fault you turned down sugary sweetness for sugary sweetness?”

“I’m going to barf,” Shelby muttered. 

Sophie turned to the rest of the group. “All right. Show’s over. Everyone back to bed.” She began shooing them away. 

“Both of you. In my office.”

“Like this?” Ezra tried to gesture and almost dropped the ice cream. 

“No. Get cleaned up. Quick. You, in my office,” he told Scott. 

Hiding a smile, marveling at Ezra’s improv skills, he headed there. 

They got questions, a lecture, trouble and put on restriction--the both of them. Also they had to write essays. But considering what had gone before they felt they got off light. 

Immediately leaving the office they were parted for several days, not even seeing each other in class. Ezra relied on Daisy to sneak him news occasionally and pass word to Scott. Mostly mushy stuff. He wanted to write Scott a letter but feared it would get caught. Plus, he knew about the love letters and his step mom. 

Finally they were called back into Peter’s office and told they would be off restriction. “But no more of that, you understand? I’m not stupid. I know you guys were together. When you found out we were looking for you, you came up with these stories. Good stories,” he admitted, somewhat grudgingly. “But you can’t keep breaking the rules like this.”

They both said nothing, staying stony faced. 

“Oh get out of here.” 

They turned and walked out, breaking into identical grins. They wanted to touch but didn’t dare. Instead they went to the mess, where the Cliffhangers were waiting. 

“So?” Kat asked as they came in.

“We’re free!” Ezra raised his arms in victory. He came around and kissed Daisy’s cheek. “Thanks for your help, honey.”

“Ooo, Meat, jealous?”

“No,” he said and walked over to Daisy’s other side and kissed her cheek too. “Thanks honey,” he said and grinned. 

She swatted both of them and rolled her eyes. “Two guys kiss me and they’re both gay. Or bi or whatever. Just my luck.”

“We’ll find you a guy,” Ezra said, sitting down. 

“Don’t you want something to eat?” Scott asked. 

“Oh yeah. Guess I should--” 

A big hand pushed him back down. “Sit. I’ve got it.” 

Ezra’s smile got goofy as he watched his boyfriend walk away. 

“You’re being sickening again,” Shelby moaned. 

“Sorry, Shel. We’re in love. Can’t help it.”

“I think it’s very sweet,” Juliette said, cuddling up to Auggie. “I’ve never seen Scott like this. I guess being in love is good for him.”

“Can we talk about something else?” Auggie and Shelby said together and exchanged looks. 

Scott came back with two plates, set one down in front of Ezra with a command of “eat!” and sat down next to him. 

They all shook their heads and laughed. They were sappy but it was nice to see. 

Things got back to normal at Horizon. Or as normal as it could get there. Until one day Scott was called into Peter’s office. 

“I didn’t do anything.”

“I didn’t say you did.”

“Then what is it?”

“Child Protective Services is coming tomorrow. They want to talk to you. About your stepmother.”

“What? Why?”

“They want the story.”

“I already told you, isn’t that enough?”

“No, I’m sorry, Scott. It isn’t. You have to tell them.”

He nodded. “Fine. Tomorrow, you said?”

“Yeah.”

“What happens? Do you know?”

“A representative will come. Could be a man or a woman. They’ll ask you some questions and record the session.”

“On tape?”

“Yes. That’s it.”

“I just have to answer some questions?”

“And tell your story.”

“Will you be there?”

“I can stay if you like.”

“Will you let Ezra be with me?”

Peter’s face got sad. “I’m sorry, Scott. No. He can’t.”

“Why not? He wouldn’t even have to say anything! Just sit there. I just need him near!”

“I’m allowed because I’m your counselor and an adult. Ezra’s just a student.”

Scott shut his eyes tight. He finally nodded. 

“We’ll come get you tomorrow when they arrive. Until then, just go about your day.”

“Yeah. Sure. Like any other day.” He walked out. Cliffhangers usually had classes together but at this time of day was one of the few times that he and Ezra were parted. He knew he couldn’t ask for him himself. Luckily he knew who to enlist. 

“Daisy,” he whispered her name from the door, making sure no one could see him. Luckily she was close. She looked back and he gestured for her to come outside. 

She asked to be excused to go to the bathroom and left. 

“What is it, Barringer?”

“I need Ezra right now. Can you get him out of there?”

“Hot to trot are we?” Then she took a closer look at him. “Scott. What is it?”

“Please. Please, I need him.” Wrapping his arms around himself, he tried not to shake. 

“I’ll get him. Janitor’s closet. Go.”

He took off. A few minutes later the door opened and someone stepped in. He peaked around the corner.


	6. Chapter 6

“Scott? You here? Oof!” Ezra was thrown back as a body all but barreled into him. “Hey, you didn’t have to--” he stopped when he saw the tears, felt the clinging and trembling. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Scott blurted out the story, what was going to happen. “And they won’t let you be with me!” he wailed. He slumped against Ezra’s chest, struggling not to cry. 

“Shhh. Shhh, angel. It’s going to be all right.” Wrapping his arms tighter, Ezra pulled him down to the ground. They scooted against the wall in an unconscious imitation of the laundry room. Crooning soft words of comfort, he petted Scott’s hair, carding his fingers through, something he knew Scott liked. “I’ll think of something. I promise.”

Scott just cuddled against his chest and Ezra held him there. At last he looked up. “This is getting to be a habit.”

“What’s that?”

“Getting your shirt all wet and snotty.”

Ezra laughed through his nose. “I’m getting used to it.” 

“I wish you didn’t have to. I’m sorry I’m such a mess all the time.”

“It’s fine. Letting _me_ take care of _you_ sometimes, remember?”

“Feels like it’s all the time lately.”

“Just because of this. Because of her. But you’re strong. You’ll make it.”

“With you by my side, I will.” They kissed, the taste of Scott’s tears mingling in their mouths. 

“We should probably go.”

“Can we stay? Just a little while longer?” He implored. 

Ezra smiled. “As long as you want.” He settled back in and down. They stayed there until the period was over and Ezra ended up on extra kitchen duty for not coming back to class. He would have gotten worse but someone passed the word about Scott and he was let off easy. That night, after kitchen duty was done, he made a beeline for Scott in the common room and made sure to stay close. Shelby was also making sure she was available if needed. The rest of the Cliffhangers didn’t know exactly what was up but they understood Scott would be going through something soon so they kept their distance. 

As bedtime was called and everyone headed to their dorms, Scott caught Ezra’s hand. “Meet me down at the docks?”

“Scott, you should think about what you want to say tomorrow.”

Face falling, then going stony, Scott walked away without a word. Ezra closed his eyes, as if in pain, and started after him. Shelby put her hand on his arm. “Leave him be.”

“He’s in pain.”

“I know.” They looked at each other then went their separate ways. 

The next morning Scott was not seen at breakfast and Ezra couldn’t find him anywhere. He was loitering around the main admin cabin when a car pulled up. Peter came out to greet the guy and lead him in. He saw Ezra and made a ‘wait’ gesture to him. 

A few minutes later he came back out. “The guy is setting up. You won’t have long to talk.”

“Thanks Peter.” He hurried in. Scott was pacing outside the room. He looked so tired and anxious but still so beautiful that Ezra stopped in his tracks. “Scott?”

He turned, saw who it was and half shrugged, turned back around. 

“I’m sorry about last night.” Another shrug. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You did, though.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I thought it would be for the best if you were alone the night before this.”

Scott shook his head. “That was the last thing I needed. I kept thinking about her and what she did to me, all night.” He jammed the palms of his hands into his eyes and bent his head. 

Afraid to move but wanting to go to his boyfriend, Ezra reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He held it out. “Here.”

Scott stared down at the object in his hand. “It’s a spoon,” he said at last. 

“Yeah. I stole it the first day I realized I had a crush on you. You’d eaten ice cream that night and I kept watching your lips and tongue and,” he trailed off, blushing furiously. “I keep it in a secret place. I look at it sometimes. I guess it’s kind of a good luck charm, almost. It reminds me of you.” He wiggled it. “I thought it might help you.”

Scott stared at the spoon for so long that Ezra’s hand wilted and he looked down. He was startled when arms came around him and hugged him tight. He finally raised his own arms and responded to the hug, realizing that his boyfriend was clinging to him for dear life. 

“It’s awesome,” Scott said, in a voice choked with tears. “Thank you.”

Ezra nearly started crying himself. “It’s only a spoon.”

“It’s more than that and you know it.” They stood there, arms around each other, for what seemed like an eternity. It was only when the door opened and Sophie came out that they let go. 

“He’s ready for you, Scott.”

Nodding, squaring his shoulders, he began to walk away, then stopped. Turning back, he plucked the spoon from Ezra’s fingers and stuffed it in his pocket. “You won’t be far?”

Glancing at Sophie then putting on a ‘what the hell’ face, he nodded and said, “they’ll have to drag me away.”

Sophie shook her head in an exasperated way. “Ezra can wait outside.” She pointed at the steps of the building. “He can’t be within hearing distance,” she told Scott when he scowled. 

“Why not? He knows everything anyway.”

She was about to answer when the door opened and Peter came out. “Scott, you ready?”

Deciding that fighting with Peter was not what he wanted to do right then, he turned, brushed his hand over Ezra’s arms and then took a deep breath. Reaching down he touched his pocket and the slight bulge there. He saw Ezra smile and nod encouragingly. “Let’s do this.” They went in. 

Ezra waited on the steps outside. At first Sophie stayed with him but after he indicated that he didn’t want to talk she left him alone. The rest of the Cliffhangers were all in class or doing projects. Some of the other Horizon kids stopped to talk but most left him alone. 

He was just thinking about getting up and seeing how much longer they might be when the door flew open and Scott came stumbling out, wiping at his tear streaked face. Immediately up and going to him, Ezra wrapped his arms tight around him and caught him before he could fall off the steps. 

When Scott started to struggle a little he said, “it’s me. It’s Ezra. I’m here. I’m here.”

The resistance stopped in an instant and Scott sagged against him. “Get me away from here,” he said hoarsely. 

They moved off, Ezra thinking furiously. Dorms would be occupied, the laundry room in use and the docks would also have people. There was only one thing they could do, one place they could go. He led Scott into the forest. They avoided the lake, where they could hear splashing and kids, and went up to one of the groves of trees. When they were away from the noise they sat down. 

Scott instantaneously moved into Ezra’s arms, cuddling down and trying to make himself small. Heart breaking, Ez stroked his hand through Scott’s hair and made murmurs of consolation and solace. When the tears finally ended, he didn’t stop stroking the follicles but he did stop speaking. 

It had been silent for nearly 10 minutes when Scott began to tell him about the interview. About the questions. About what they had wanted to know. And about being asked if he had ‘recorded’ any of their sessions. That made Ezra quiver in rage, but he tamped it down to care for Scott. He held him and they sat together, the silence expanding out. 

“I love you,” Scott said abruptly. 

“I know. I love you too. No matter what. I love you,” he said again, leaning down to kiss him. “I love you.” He kissed his way back to Scott’s ear. “I love you,” he whispered there and felt a full body shudder and more tears. He rolled them over on their sides and they put their arms around each other. They lay there, in the dirt, and just held on. 

Sometime later they got up and brushed the worst of it off, then began walking down. Near the edge of the school Scott stopped, kissed him and said, “I don’t deserve you.” When Ezra went to speak, he put his finger over those parted lips. “No. Don’t argue. I know I don’t. I’m just glad you put up with me anyway.” With that he walked off. 

Ezra stood there for a few moments then went after him and tentatively took his hand until they could be seen. No one seemed to reprimand them for being gone. They went to the cafeteria and ended up with the group, chatting about this and that. The day passed by. Then Scott was called in to see Peter. 

Ezra didn’t know about it until Peter came running into Science Lab. “Ezra,” was all he had time to say. 

He’d been sitting with Daisy, trying to work out an equation, and looked up instantly. “What happened?” He got up. 

Gesturing, Peter led him out of the classroom. “Apparently his stepmother had some letters that Scott had written to her. Love letters.”

Ezra, who had heard the whole story, nodded. 

“You knew about them?”

“Scott told me.” A thought occurred to him. “They completely undermined his allegations, didn’t they?”

“Yes. Add in the report that he tried to kiss Sophie…”

“He looks like the predator.” Ezra put his hand to his throat. “He took off?” he asked Peter, striding for the Cliffhangers cabin. 

“He ran. No one can find him. I figured you would stand the best chance.”

Bursting in, Ezra riffled through Scott’s things. “He didn’t take any clothes or anything. Looks like he’s not running off. He probably just went somewhere to be away.” He looked over at Peter. “I can find him. But I have to do it alone.”

A brief moment of hesitation then Peter gave a nod. Ezra flew out of there. The Cliffhangers had followed but he didn’t say a word as he went by. He checked all their usual haunts but Scott was nowhere. Stopping to think furiously, he went up to the trees they had been in earlier in the day but nothing. That was when an idea occurred to him. His feet didn’t seem to touch the ground as he flew toward the river and the embankment there. 

Sure enough, Scott was standing on the edge, looking down. 

“Scott!”

“Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you’d died when you fell in?” The tone was so conversational, so matter of fact, that it was scary. “I mean, you came close to drowning, Ez.”

“Sometimes. I did that night for sure.”

“Would it hurt? Or would you just sink? Would the water flow over you like a cocoon?”

“Scott, please, step away from the edge. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m scaring me,” he said. “She won. I knew those damn letters would come back to haunt me. Peter said that there was only a slight chance it would have been taken seriously anyway. She’s going to get away with what she did to me.”

“We’ll find another way. Explain--”

“No.” Scott turned, pulling his hands out of his pockets. “No more fighting.”

“Goddammit, don’t you give up on me!” Ezra shouted. “I just found you. Or does our love mean that little to you?!”

“Our love means that much,” he said in that placid tone. 

“So you’re going to kill yourself cause you love me so much, is that it?” He filled his voice with scorn. 

“I love you,” was Scott’s reply as he took another step back. 

Ezra dove and jumped into his arms, nearly teetering them both over. “If you go over, you better take me with you,” he hissed. “Cause you’re all I’ve got to live for and with you gone I don’t want to stay.”

“I…”

“I know you’re hurting. I know you’re angry. I know you’re feeling betrayed. But Scott, I love you. I’m here for you. The other Cliffhangers are here for you. Peter, Sophie, everyone.” He pulled back enough to touch his boyfriend’s face. “Isn’t that enough?”

Scott practically vibrated where he stood for a moment then collapsed. They both went down on the hard rock, crying and apologizing and giving declarations of love. They kissed again and again, holding on to each other as if the world was coming to an end. 

“I’m such a mess,” Scott moaned.

“Maybe. But you’re my mess.” 

They kissed again and finally, when they were ready, they got up. “I’m gonna get it from Peter, aren’t I?”

“Probably.” They both laughed weakly. “He’ll be mostly relieved you didn’t run away again though.” Ezra put his arm around Scott’s waist and they walked back like that. They didn’t let go as they entered the compound this time. Peter saw them and came running up, pulling Scott from the half embrace and hugging him hard. 

“Don’t do that to me!” he exclaimed, partly furious and partly out of fear. 

“Sorry.” He looked at Peter and then at Ezra. “Won’t happen again.”

“Better not,” the two of them said together and they all three burst out laughing. It was slightly hysterical on Scott and Ezra’s part but it felt good just the same. 

“You’re still in trouble though,” Peter added as they walked back. 

“I know. Kitchen duty?”

“Digging. Lots and lots of digging.”

Scott shrugged and looked over at Ezra. “I can handle that.” He got a smile in return to his comment. 

They didn’t really explain to the group, only said something had happened regarding Scott’s past and it had made him flee. Scott did tell Shelby, who freaked out about the letters but came to accept the truth once she found out why he’d written them.   
Ezra stuck to Scott like glue for a while, barely letting him out of his sight. 

Then the phone call came. Shelby was taken home. Scott was miserable and blamed himself. Of all of them he knew best what she was going back to. He and Daisy would talk about it, or he and Ezra would cuddle together in the laundry room late at night and discuss it. They talked about going down there and getting her back but they knew they couldn’t. 

Unexpectedly, Shelby came back. Things finally seemed happy and normal again. Auggie and Juliette were finally back on track again, Shelby had her eye on some guy from the Rockclimbers, Daisy had dealt with her mother dying, and Ezra and Scott were happy. Ezra even got to meet Scott’s real mother and have a talk with her. He was introduced merely as Scott’s friend but Scott later revealed his relationship with Ezra to his mother, who took it rather well. It all seemed to be happy, or as happy as kids at Horizon could get. Even the return of David didn’t hamper their spirits too much. 

Until the day Mr. Barringer came to visit. 

Parent week was always a bit of a trial for Horizon. But this was worse. Juliette’s Mom and Auggie’s parents; Ezra’s folks who came separately, no longer maintaining the façade of getting back together; Shelby’s sister who showed up unannounced; Kat’s parents; and of course, Mr. Barringer. Who told Scott that he believed him and that Elaine had run off with the lawyer. 

Scott was elated, almost giddy, as he told Ezra about it. Then he calmed down and asked him, “you doing okay? Your parents, I mean?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Did I tell you they finally decided who I’m going to live with? The courts, I mean.”

“No. Which one?”

“My Mom. Which pissed my Dad off to no end. But hey, not my problem.” His tone was glib but Scott knew he was hurting. They were being watched so he couldn’t do much more than touch Ez’s arm. It still earned him a grateful smile. “I’m glad things with your Dad are finally working out.”

“Yeah. Me too.” They walked along and suddenly Scott said, “maybe you could come stay at our place. For a week or two this summer. Get away from all this crap in your life.”

They stopped. “Really?” Ezra was surprised. “Your dad would be okay with that?” 

“Um, probably.”

“Scott. You haven’t told him yet, have you?”

“I was going to but then he hit me with the news about Elaine and I had to come tell you. I’m a horrible boyfriend. I’m sorry.” He made a pouting face that earned him a chuckle and a shove. “No,” he added more seriously, “I really am sorry. It’s always about me, isn’t it? You’re going through stuff too. Tell you what? My Dad’s taking me out to supper in town tonight. I’ll tell him then.”

“Why do all our gay confessions happen at Rusty’s?” Ezra asked. 

“Cause it’s the only place?” 

They both laughed again. 

“Seriously, if you don’t want to or don’t think you should tell him,” Ezra started to say. 

Scott looked around and shoved him back behind the woodshed. He kissed him thoroughly. “I do want to tell him. You’re important to me and he should know you.”

“Will I continue to be?” 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, this summer you’ll be going home and back to your life. Your old life where I would never fit in. What if…?”

Scott shook his head. “After everything we’ve been through, you’d think that?” He kissed him again. “I’m not giving you up.”

Ezra threw his arms around Scott’s neck and clung tight. They broke when they heard footsteps but stayed close the rest of the day. He made sure to be outside when Mr. Barringer and Scott were leaving for town. They waved to each other and he watched them drive off. He waited up for Scott but finally ended up going to bed. 

He was woken in the middle of the night by a hand on his shoulder. “Ezra! Ezra!”

“Wha--?” he sat up. “Scott?”

“C’mon.” This was old hat and they could practically do this blindfolded. They headed for the laundry shed and their usual spot but Scott was pacing. His hair was rumpled badly like he’d been running his hands through it the whole time. 

“What’s up?” He didn’t want to ask how Mr. Barringer took the news. He wasn’t sure Scott had told him.

“My Dad’s taking me out of Horizon.”

That was truly the last thing he thought Scott would say. “What?” he asked when he got his voice back. 

“He said that with Elaine gone and the progress I’ve been making that he wants me home. To play football and possibly get a scholarship.”

“You’re still-”

“He says he’ll get me a therapist to deal with stuff. But he wants me home.”

“There isn’t much left to this school year,” Ezra mused. 

“I know. But he wants me playing ball this summer and that means I have to enroll before term ends.”

“Did you tell him about us?” Ezra was almost afraid of the answer. 

Scott collapsed in front of him. “Yeah.”

When it seemed no more was forthcoming, Ezra prompted him. “And?”

“He said that was part of why he wanted me away from here. That I was ‘confused’ and needed to be back with normal kids.”

Shutting his eyes tight, Ezra spoke in a tight voice. “What did you say?”

“That I love you. That you’re a big part of what was getting me through all this and that I didn’t want to leave you. I said I’d be there for the summer and could sign up for stuff then but I wanted to stay at Horizon. With you.”

Eyes flying open in surprise, Ez couldn’t help the look on his face. 

“You didn’t think I’d want that?”

“I did wonder. To go back to your life--”

“You are my life,” Scott said fiercely, taking his face in his hands and kissing Ez. 

“What did your dad say?”

“That I’d get over it. Over you. That I’ve got no choice. He’s taking me out of the school, taking me home.”

Stunned, Ezra could think of nothing to say. “What are you going to do?”

“Run away.” It was said so fiercely and so matter of factly that it didn’t register for a moment. “Come with me?”

“Running away won’t solve this, Scott.”

“I can’t stay with him. I want to be with you. We’ll be separated by so much.”

“I know. I don’t want it either. But a life on the streets isn’t for us. Think of Shelby.”

Scott bowed his head. “You don’t want to run away with me?”

“I want to be with you,” he told him, lifting Scott’s head. “More than you can imagine. But not like that. Not running and hiding and in fear. Having to turn tricks and sell ourselves or sell drugs.”

“If I go with him--”

“There might still be a chance. We could be covert. Or we’d see each other when we go to college. You’d be worth waiting for,” he added, smiling though his heart was breaking. 

A tear spilled down Scott’s cheek and that started the flow in Ezra’s eyes. “It’s not fair. I finally get rid of that bitch and my Dad does this to me? Why can’t adults ever let us just be happy? Why can’t they ever just let us be?!” 

Ezra pulled him in close and held him, muttering words of comfort but feeling the ache in his own heart. He knew that if he and Scott were parted now their relationship was likely doomed. But he couldn’t let his love down. So he said words of affection, made promises and then sent Scott off to bed. He snuck to the girls’ dorm and found Daisy. He poured out his heart to her and told her the story. She held him as he wept, comforting him. 

The next morning, the parents all got ready to leave. Mr. Barringer, despite Peter’s objections, was taking his son with him. The group all came out to say goodbye. Except Ezra, who couldn’t take it, couldn’t stand to be there with the man who was unraveling them. 

Scott went down the line. First Kat. He hugged her and told her she’d do great. “You’ve got a hell of a future ahead of you, Kathryn.”

“I think you do too,” she told him. 

Then Juliette and Auggie. He hugged Juliette and did a fist bump with Auggie. “Take good care of each other.” They promised to. 

He got to Shelby. They hugged long and hard. “Strange that you just got back and now I’m leaving,” he said. 

“You take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

Then he stepped to Daisy, who looked torn between hitting him with a shovel and crying. “He’s not coming?”

“Do you blame him?”

“No. Tell him I’m sorry.”

She snorted and looked away. He went to hug her and she stepped back. He looked hurt but understood. He turned and hugged Sophie. “Don’t worry, not going to try to kiss you,” he joked. 

“I should hope not. Good luck, Scott.”

Lastly, Peter. That was a big hug. “Use the tools we’ve taught you,” Peter said. 

“Thanks. Sorry I was such a pain.” He watched Peter smile. “Watch Ezra for me, okay? I’m worried about him.”

“We will.” Mr. Barringer cleared his throat. Scott followed him to the car, looked back one more time with an infinitely sad look on his face, and then climbed in. They pulled out and were halfway up the road when the car stopped. For just a moment everyone held their breath. But then it continued on. 

Daisy immediately went to find Ezra, but he was nowhere to be found. The Cliffhangers made it their priority, knowing his past attempts at suicide. It was Shelby who found him. Down by the lake. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You didn’t come to say good bye.”

“No.”

“He was hurt by that.”

“He’ll get over it. Just like he’ll get over me.”

“Oh so that’s what this is about? You figure that he’ll find some perfect cheerleader and forget his gay ‘summer’?”

Ezra shrugged. 

“He loves you.”

“Yeah.”

“God, boys are stupid.”

Ezra kept silent. She sat down beside him. Finally they got up and went back to camp. For the next few days everyone kept an eye on Ezra, who walked through camp like a ghost. He barely ate, barely slept and barely spoke. Not even Daisy could rouse him. But he didn’t try to kill himself or get high, which Peter saw as a plus. 

Peter and Sophie okayed Kat’s Morp idea in hopes that a party would bring the kids around. While there was a sort of excitement, especially among the girls, Ezra stayed clear. Daisy pushed him into picking a suit, mostly because if he didn’t go then no one else could. This was a true all or nothing proposition. 

The night of the Morp finally came and the girls were decked out in their finest. Daisy went to find Ezra, then led him to the party. He stood by the wall for a while then made his way to the kitchens. 

“Ezra, what are you doing?”

“Looking for something,” he told her, then shook his head. “Not to kill myself. To get high.”

“Scott wouldn’t--”

He crashed the jar of flour to the floor and turned on her, suddenly furious. He went to speak but then choked on his words and turned back around, walking out. He pushed his way past students and teachers, past Peter and Sophie, who tried to reach out to him. 

“Let him go,” Shelby told everyone. 

He ended up, ironically enough, in the laundry room. He sat in ‘their’ spot and couldn’t even cry, he was so miserable. Why didn’t he just get this over with, he wondered. Why not kill himself? 

“Because I’d be pissed as hell if you did,” came a voice from above him. 

He raised his head slowly and saw Scott Barringer, all decked out in a tuxedo, standing over him. He sat there blinking at him. “Wow, and I didn’t even take anything.”

“I’m not a hallucination.” Scott crouched down. “And you better not even think about killing yourself.”

“I said that out loud?”

“Yeah.”

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. “What are you doing here?” he finally asked. “Your Dad--”

“We had a fight. We stopped to get something to eat and I was moping around and we fought about you. I told him I missed you and he said I’d get over it. I said I didn’t think I would get over my true love so easily. He made a face of disgust and then we really started having it out. Turns out he blames me for what happened with Elaine. Thinks I should have stopped it. So I told him I wanted to come back here and he agreed.”

“And me?” He felt a pang for what Scott went through but for once he wanted to be selfish. 

“You? You’re my boyfriend, unless you’ve changed your mind. I’d like to escort you to the dance.” He held out his hand. 

Ezra hesitated. “I’m not normal.”

“I know. That’s part of what I love about you.” He kept his hand out. 

Ezra reached out, put his hand in Scott’s and let himself be pulled up and into a powerful embrace. 

“I’m sorry. I should have done things differently. Found a way to stay or something.”

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have believed that you would--” but his voice got too clogged and he couldn’t speak anymore. 

They held each other for ages then kissed. When it ended at long last, Scott pulled back. “You look amazing. Sexy as hell.”

Blushing, Ez shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

“Excuse me, I get to say if my guy is sexy or not,” he teased. “And you are.” I came out husky and laden with desire. 

“I could say the same about you.” He reached out and pulled Scott to him. “Good enough to eat.”

Scott laughed and they kissed again, hands groping a little. “Later. But for now, I want my dance.”

“Here?”

“Privacy might be good,” he grinned, “but I’d rather dance with you at the party.”

Finally feeling the cloud lifting, believing this to be real at last, Ezra nodded. They walked back out and through the commons to the party. At first no one saw them but then Juliette, who had been dancing with Auggie, spotted them and shrieked. The sound echoed and brought the dancers to a halt. Auggie staggered away, clutching his ear. “Jeez, Jules!”

She pointed and everyone turned. Scott and Ezra were holding hands, both in their--now slightly mussed--suits, framed in the doorway. 

A moment of silence then an explosion of talk and people running up to them. 

“What are you doing back?”

“You found him!”

“Always got to make an entrance, don’t you, Meat?”

“Are you back to stay?”

Peter whistled loudly and held his hands up. “Everyone, please.” As the room got quiet he turned to the couple. “Scott.”

“Hey Peter.”

“Are you back?”

“If you’ll have me.”

Peter stepped forward and hugged him. “Always.” He smiled at Ezra too. He looked around at the gathered students. “I thought this was a dance!”

Most of them went back to dancing but some lingered by Scott and Ezra’s side. Daisy punched Scott in the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“Took you long enough.”

“Thanks Daisy. I love you too.”

“Hey, get your own man!” Ezra wrapped his arms around his guy protectively, as David did the same to Daisy. 

Shelby and Jesse came up and hugged him and said they were glad he was back. Scott teased Kat about the morp and about Hank but hugged her too. 

“I ain’t huggin’ you, man,” Auggie said.

“I am,” Jules chirped and did so. Then she hugged Ezra too. “I’m so happy for you guys!”

They just shook their heads. When finally all their friends had cleared away Scott turned. “Dance with me?”

Smiling, Ezra held out his hand. “Of course.”

They swept out onto the dance floor and the group parted, leaving them in the circle. They swayed against each other to the fast beat, not caring that they were out of sync. Everyone looked on them with different expressions of wonder, happiness, joy and even a bit of envy. A slower song started to come on but then Sophie called for everyone to go outside. 

They went out, couples wrapped around each other, and looked up at the falling stars. It was like fireworks. 

“Make a wish,” Scott whispered in Ezra’s ear. 

“I don’t have to,” he replied. “It already came true.”

 

End


End file.
